What's in a Name

It's appropriate that Barack Obama's initials are B.O.  He stinks to high Heaven, a place he'll never see.   It would also be appropriate for his middle name to be Odious because he is a repugnant bastard who scares me to death.  BOO!

How to Improve the State of the Union

1.  Convert Obama to Catholicism.  Then, instead of blowing smoke up your ass, he'll swing it.

2.  Replace Al Sharpton with Bill Cosby as a White House advisor.  That way when Obama screws you at least you'll be asleep.

3.  Give QVC exclusive broadcast rights to the State of the Union.  They're experts at selling wild ass claims.

4.  Let the signer at the Nelsen Mandela funeral do the State of the Union.  Then at least the deaf might "hear" some words of wisdom.

5.  Have Obama speak softly and carry a big stick.  According to Joe Biden, he's already half-way there.

6.  Paint eyes on the eyelids of Biden and Boehner so at least two people look like they're paying attention.

7.  Have Michelle wear a red, white and blue burka designed by Oscar de la Renta.  This will display every characteristic of the Left.  It's as patriotic as they get.  It shows solidarity with Islam.  It shows what the Left really thinks of women.  And it puts a Hispanic to work.

8.  Program Obama's teleprompters with the line from the Al Pacino movie Scarface "Say hello to my little friend!" and see how many congresswomen faint.