Questions About Ferguson

QUESTION:  How do you stop an angry mob of lawless rioters?

ANSWER:  You call for a special election and the Democratic Party will bus them, in orderly fashion, to the polls.

QUESTION:  How do you tell the difference between the dance moves in a  Beyonce concert and the moves of street thugs falling over themselves as they scramble through broken store windows?

ANSWER:  Beyonce's parts jiggle more.

QUESTION:  Is it just a conspiracy theory that Barack Obama had Michael Brown killed to get Fox News obsessed with Ferguson and off the White House scandals?

ANSWER:  No, it's not just a conspiracy theory, it's my conspiracy theory and I'm sticking to it until I come up with one that doesn't involve eliminating a Democrat voter.

QUESTION:  Is there any truth to the rumor that the NFL wants the town of Ferguson to perform and sing the Mylie Cyrus song Wrecking Ball at this winter's Super Bowl?

ANSWER:  None whatsoever.  Ferguson refused to pay to perform.

QUESTION:  What's the difference between the Pied Piper and Eric Holder?

ANSWER:  The Pied Piper was a white man who could charm rats and Eric Holder is a rat who doesn't find anything charming about white men, or white women for that matter.

Women Are From Venus, Men Are From Mars,

Democrats Are From Alpha Centauri

In the great western, The Big Country, Chuck Connors tells his father, Burl Ives, that the school teacher, Jean Simmons, is sweet on him.  ( In today's terminology, that means they were being heterosexual deviants.)  Ives kidnaps Simmons hoping to get her ranch The Big Muddy, the only reliable source of water for Ives' cattle.  (In today's regulatory world, this makes absolutely no sense since the Big Muddy is obviously some kind of waterway and the EPA would put the screws to anyone trying to use it for profit.)  When Ives proposes a marriage between Connors and Simmons (more heterosexual perversion), the reaction from Simmons says it all:  Chuck Connors had told his father a bald-faced lie.  Ives looks at his son and says, "If you ain't the mother and father of all liars!"

If Connors was the mother and father of all liars for telling one whopper of a lie, then what is Barack Obama?

The Octomom and Octodad of All Liars?  Prodigious progeny all on the government teat.

The McDonald's of Liars?  Over One Billion Served

The Hamas Charter of Liars?  ...and the rocks and trees will cry out, "Oh Muslim, there is a Jew hiding behind me, come and kill him!"

The Hydra of All Liars?  Cut off one lying asshole head and two take its place.

The Black Hole of Liars?  Lies that cross its event horizon into the visible universe are never observed by the MSM.