A Man's Got To Know His Limitations

Look!  You can keep the Nobel Peace Prize but you have to give Mitt the pretty airplane.

White House Black Liberation Theology Prayer

Dear heavenly Father, you have blessed me with a 10 point surge in Florida and poll leads in all swing states.  If it is your will, I pray for Joe's swift recovery from that freak accident he had in Tampa outside the RNC convention prior to this wonderful surge.  Please soothe the ache of the Secret Service agents who did their utmost to stop Joe from falling under the Romney bus.  May Joe quickly return to this great house in better spirit and health, with greater wisdom and forethought, and with incomparable oratory skills.  Barring that, I humbly beseech you to wait until after November 6th to do anything for him.  Amen.

The Farce of a Carbon Dragon

The protagonist of "Global Warming", a fine theatrical farce

Is sonorous Al Gore or some other comic tree-hugging arse.

They play the lead role with sorrow, speaking words of utter gloom

Because the plot portends imminent, undeniable global doom.

 

William Shakespeare, Bard of Avon, did say all the world's a stage

And "Global Warming" has become a ubiquitous firestorm rage.

Progressive politicians are the worst actors in this play.

They ad-lib economic destruction and think, dumbly, it's OK.

 

The plot includes a carboniferous fire-breathing dragon

That the adolescent Barack wants to slay, then parade in his wagon.

"Look what I've bravely done for the polar beers!" he yells,

Too immature to realize video text on his teleprompter fails.

 

He thinks a grand beer summit will happen on his lawn

Where he can call police stupid and the Media will fawn.

NBC, ABC, and CBS videotaping the summit on the grass

Will vie in desperation to be first to kiss his ass.

 

Then there's Nancy Pelosi as the vile, hideous Ogre of the West.

Compared to other politicians, her acting is some of the best.

She monologues that a 4-star general stepped outside the "line of command". [sic]

She calls CIA spooks liars.  Encore!  The play spreads throughout the land.

 

In one scene, Charles instructs the class while the Designer wears a cap.

So many desks are empty because pro-life is just Christian pap.

Alas, poor Yorick is never known at all, infinitely less than well.

Get your tickets for the sequel.  We'll all watch it down in Hell.