Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Clem the Dem Wit




During the swearing in of new Missouri National Guardsmen at the Missouri-Tennessee college football game, a portion of the crowd booed at the mention of the President of the United States in the oath.  Attending the game was state representative Clem Smith who stated afterward:  “Those crowd members disrespected the proud men and women of our nation’s great military, the President of the United States and the upstanding citizens of Missouri.”
 
No, Clem "Kadiddlehopper" Smith, some in the crowd were quite sober, attentive and in possession of more than 5 percent of a human brain.  And we all know that 5 percent or less is insignificant and of no bother.  At least that's true when it pertains to the percentage of the population in misery due to losing their health insurance.
 
Barack Obama, who doesn't deserve the title of "mister" much less "President of the United States", is deserving of all the disrespect a person can muster.  He is a pathological liar, an egotist smothered in solipsism, and a backstabbing thug.  The only man he is willing to face head-on is a straw man, and he even has to lie and deceive to vanquish him.
 
It's been reported that Barack Obama said, "I'm really good at killing people."  That is true, but he is adept at killing more than just people.  He should have said, "I'm really good at killing, PERIOD."
 
 
 
 
 

Friday, November 1, 2013

Someone is a Lying, Felonious, Plagiarizing Piece of Shit




Is the reason Obama is always "out of the loop" because he was writing the terrorist Bill Ayers book, Public Enemy?  Or did Bill Ayers write Obama's book, Dreams From My Father.  Whichever, the truth is they're both lying, felonious pieces of shit and, probably, only one is a plagiarist.
 
Check out the opening paragraph from one of the books:
 
A few months after my twenty-first birthday, a stranger called to give me the news.  It was a mid-April evening, the sweet smells of springtime upon us and the last light reluctantly giving way outside the front window, when my graduate seminar ended and everyone pitched in to clean up.  I was living in New York at the time, on Ninety-fourth between Second and First, part of that unmasked, shifting border between East Harlem and the rest of Manhattan.  A dozen of my students were spread out in our living room, cups and dishes scattered everywhere, small piles of books and papers marking specific territory.  It was an un-inviting block, treeless and barren, lined with soot-colored walk-ups that cast heavy shadows for most of the day.  Until the moment before, all of us had focused intensely on the work at hand: thesis development, the art of personal essay, and the formal demands of oral history research.  The apartment was small, with slanting floors and irregular heat and a buzzer downstairs that didn't work, so that visitors had to call ahead from a pay phone at the corner gas station, where a black Doberman the size of a wolf paced through the  night in vigilant patrol, its jaw clamped around an empty beer bottle.  As a professor for two decades, my favorite teaching moments often popped up during these customary potluck seminars at our home - something about sharing food in a more intimate personal setting, perhaps, or disrupting the assumed heirarchy of teacher authority, or simply being freed from the windowless, fluorescent-lit concrete bunkers that passed for classrooms at my university.  None of this concerned me much, for I didn't get many visitors.  But the seminar was done for the evening, and as the students began to gather their things, a self-described "political junkie" clicked on the TV and flipped to the presidential primary debate, well under way now, between Hillary Clinton and the young upstart from Chicago, Barack Obama.  I was impatient in those days, busy with work and unrealized plans, and prone to see other people as unnecessary distractions.
 
Do you find that the sentences above flow well together, but that the storyline seems a bit disjointed?  That's because I lied.  The paragraph is not from one of the books; it's from both.  It actually is an interlacing of the first sentences from both books.  The paragraph starts with the first sentence from Dreams From My Father, and the second sentence in the paragraph is the first sentence from Public Enemy. The paragraph  alternates between the opening sentences in the two books. 
 
 
 

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Don't Say God Didn't Warn You






Confucius say God might be telling you something when a mad man plays games that have "fore" and "horse" in them.



 

Thursday, August 29, 2013

The World Won't End With a Whimper


But With a Whopper
 
The following, in blue, is excerpted from Bill Clinton's eulogy of Rosa Parks in 2005 (sourced from http://www.democracynow.org/2005/11/3/bill_clinton_rosa_parks_made_us):
 
I remember as if it were yesterday [it was yesterday when you concocted this lie, you idiot] that fateful day 50 years ago. I was a nine-year-old Southern white boy [BREAKING NEWS:  Bill Clinton is white] who rode a segregated bus every single day of my life [every single day of your life!]. I sat in the front [where I could fondle little Jennifer Flowers]. Black folk sat in the back [where my spit balls landed]. When Rosa showed us that black folks [why use plural here and singular before, Bubba?] didn’t have to sit in the back anymore, two of my friends and I who strongly approved of what she had done decided we didn’t have to sit in the front anymore [it sucks to sit up front!]. It was just a tiny gesture by three ordinary kids [from Arkansas who knew about Rosa Parks from Montgomery, Alabama], but that tiny gesture was repeated over and over again, millions and millions of times in the hearts and minds of children [ordinary children like me who knew about Rosa Parks from Montgomery, Alabama], their parents, their grandparents, their great grandparents [bigots who had just been waiting for someone to refuse to sit in the back for them to open their eyes], proving that she did help to set us all free [which those piss ant Founding Fathers had refused to do].
 
 
In Bill Clinton's speech at the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King's I have a Dream speech, Clinton said King's words opened minds, melted hearts and moved millions, including a seventeen-year-old watching the speech alone in Arkansas.  In concocting this lie, why do you think Clinton inserted the word alone?  Was it to suggest his gallant, lonely, Christ-like battle against Man's sins against blacks as a young man growing up in the South?
 
I must admit that I have some sympathy for Hillary.  She just doesn't have Bill's flare for bending the truth.  Her "stories" about the hundredfold profit in cattle futures in one year's time, being named for Sir Edmund Hillary, and her corkscrew landing in Bosnia to avoid enemy fire couldn't even be defended by the MSM.  In her marriage to Bill, it's just extremely hard for her to get a whopper in edgewise.
 
 
 

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

The Miley Cyrus of International Diplomacy






BEND OVER AND PREPARE TO BE PROBED.


America is in decline because America chooses to be.  Last November, Americans went to the polls and voted for four more years of lies, deceit and incompetence.  They voted for a man who didn't run on his record, but on a caricature of Mitt Romney's.  He didn't run on his war successes, but on an imaginary war on women and the valor of Seal Team Six.  He didn't run on his broken promises to end the influence of K Street; he ran on the money of K Street, Wall Street and Sesame Street.
 
One must begin to wonder, if one wonders, whether Obama is completely incompetent or incredibly sinister.  Even a blind squirrel is said to occasionally find an acorn, so Obama should be statistically ready to stumble on an acorn in international diplomacy.  If Obama doesn't sniff out the acorn in Syria, then why would anyone trust his perceptions on the really big issues such as NCAA brackets, why Cambridge police act stupidly and what surprised, enchanted, troubled and humbled him in his first 100 days?
 
My hunch is: Obama won't find the acorn.  The only acorn left to find is the destruction of Assad's air force which can be accomplished with stand-off weapons and not putting American airmen in harm's way.  Only a serious strike against Assad's military will have any meaning.  Should Obama just launch cruise missiles to cover his ass, that will be worse than doing nothing.  America's opponents will only intensify their probing of Obama's weaknesses.  And that's got to hurt. 
 
Not taking out substantial military assets will damage the moderate Syrian rebels' morale and embolden Assad.  The radical Islamist rebels will just smile and cut off another Christian head.  It will illustrate to Iran that America is a tiger only on paper and never will force the issue of Iran's nuclear ambitions during Obama's second term.  Israel will know that Iran's nukes are her problem alone.  Russia and China will confidently push their agendas as America's allies never again question America's resolve.  How do you question something that doesn't exist?
 
If you are depressed by what you see happening to America,  my advice is Don't fret over things you can't control.  We - the country - wanted this.  Attila the Hun didn't herd the children of a looted village ahead of his army to storm our gates.  He didn't pile dead bodies into ramps to breach our walls. 
 
We elected Atilla.
 
 
 
 
 
 

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Welcome to the Common Era




With BCE (Before Common Era) and CE (Common Era) replacing BC and AD in many texts today to scrub Jesus from history, it's appropriate to begin scrubbing other icons from history when the opportunity arises.  Never let an earthquake or crisis go to waste.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Babawa Wawa Defends Bill Mar(d)




Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg defended Bill Maher after he called Sarah Palin's child, Trig, retarded.  According to Walters and Goldberg, Maher probably didn't know that to call someone retarded is offensive.

I completely agree with the bed-hopping whore and hymie-monikered jigaboo.




Thursday, May 23, 2013

Total Recall My Ass



Little Kuato:  Go fast and furious.  Drop charges on the New Black Panthers.  Tap the phones of the AP and James Rosen.  Say "Illegals have a civil right to citizenship".  Kick that Christian German family here to home school their children out of the country.  Recuse yourself.  Say "I don't know".  And zip up your jacket, you stupid idjit!
 
 
 
 

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The Dust Bowl




Satan brandished his mighty hand to protect his little spawn.
A dragon's fang gashed the ground and Moore Oklahoma was gone.
Lord turned his eyes away, twas such a sinful sight,
Opening his arms to the twenty children's delight.
 
At the top of the capital is the Latin phrase Laus Deo.
Progs fertilize the bottom and we reap what we and they sow.
Gosnell killed children by the score; planning kills much more.
God-given rights are blown away cause in righteousness we're dirt poor.
 
 
 

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Better Late Than Forever





One side claims he's moribund.
The other sees him dancing a jig,
While the ancients of the Cambrian shout,
"You have a grave to dig!"

I grew up sometime in my fifties.
I was a bearded child before then.
I listened as my betters said
Baboons and Man were kin.

They showed me the geologic strata
And the fossils that lie within.
They showed me an amphibian's leg
Evolving from a fish's fin.

They say the Earth is so undoubtedly
Billions plus millions of years old.
Plenty of time for Man to evolve
from his nemesis, the common cold.

They say that uranium splits apart.
It's atoms make the perfect clock.
They've used it to determine the planet's birth
Down to the first tick and tock.

They package their wisdom neatly.
It's a gem with no blemish or flaw.
So sure are they of their theory,
They like to call it Nature's law.

Who was I to question them?
They went to Harvard, some to MIT.
They had deciphered the genetic code
And I stocked shelves at A&P.

One day, I came of age
And saw them for what they were:
Bigoted, close-minded progressives
Who greet intelligent design with a slur.

I don't see how I ever believed
All life was by happenstance.
I now see God's works of miracles
Wherever my eyes may glance.

Darwinism is today's Piltdown Man
That once had me under its spell.
I just hope Dawkins' eyes are opened
Before he writes books in Hell.


Thursday, April 11, 2013

Vicious Snakes






Black-Hearted Obamas and Black Mambas, which are deadlier?

One day Michelle is a busy, single mother and the next day she's a dead teenager.  Think I'm making this up?  Listen from the serpent's own lips:




Why did Barack Obama go 2 for 22 shooting hoops at the White House?

A.  He was playing h-o-r-s-e, and once he spelled "ho" he got distracted (and excited) making up a rapper song in his head.

B.  It was Easter and his hands ached from wounds he suffered over 2,000 years ago.

C.  He thought 2 for 22 was outstanding compared to the "O  for" he's made on green energy companys.

D.  He threw 20 basketballs at Republicans, and went 20 for 20.

E.  White Trash were demonstrating and shouting outside the White House fence about the hypocracy of closing the White House to tours because of budget constraints while Joe Biden goes on vacation 3 times already in 2013, Sasha and Malia go to the Bahamas and Sun Valley, Utah during Spring break, and a musical extravaganza will soon be held at the White House.

F.  Answers A through D are correct.  Answer E is ridiculous because white trash like me have given up.
 
 
 

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Outflanked


God took a rib and created Woman for him.
Imagine all the miracles He could do with a limb.
Man took his hand and tried to create in kind,
But all he got for his trouble was another man's behind.


On August 2, 216 BC Hannibal of Carthage led an army of approximately 50,000 soldiers against a Roman army estimated to have been 86,000 strong near the Italian town of Cannae.  Hannibal's numerically inferior army was able to envelope the Roman army and utterly destroy it.  Up to 75,000 Roman soldiers and allied troops may have been killed in one of the bloodiest battles in human history.

Today, numerically superior conservatives are being enveloped and destroyed in a pincer move by progressives.  Conservatives have chosen the valley of despair and indifference.  The progressives have outflanked them and taken the high ground.  On the hills of politics, education, science, religion and morality, a barrage of deadly fire is raining down on conservatives.  It's becoming a bloodbath.

I once heard somewhere that Man doesn't really advance.  As he takes steps forward in one area, he takes steps backward in another.  There does seem to be some truth in that.  We are a technologically enriched society but I believe we are morally bankrupt.  We have risen technologically and declined morally.  All the blame for that moral bankruptcy isn't the fault of progressivism, but I believe, as conservatives, we should put all the blame on progressivism.  Once (If?) we send progressivism back to the pit of Hell from which it came, then we can work on other sources for our immorality.

We are a society that tolerates a pogrom against the unwanted.  We're baby killers.  And we're good at it. 

The only time progressives don't think with a collectivist mindset is when they're assigning societal value to an individual.  Low men on the totem pole for them are babies, children and the elderly.  Abort babies, deny medical care to the elderly (a poor investment), and give children to same-sex married couples (a wise investment).  If progressives want to decrease the surplus population, and they do, then - after aborting babies - giving adoptions to same-sex couples is a good alternative.  A child raised in a homosexual environment will, at a minimum, consider it to be a worthy lifestyle.

I believe homosexuality should remain stigmatized to the extent that heterosexuality should be the preferred lifestyle.  By stigmatization, I mean in the same manner that a baseball team would prefer a 3rd baseman who bats 330 over one who bats 250.  One player is not a better human being than the other.  Giving marriage to same-sex couples is saying they can play the game as well as heterosexual couples in child-rearing and that is profoundly insane.

Friday, March 22, 2013

The Bet of Edmund Fitzgerald




The legend lives on from his commie Ma on down
 
Of the abortion doc they called Barack Obama.
Now Barack, it is said, never got out of his bed
Until the great ball in the sky was real shiny.
With a load of irons for twenty-six rounds or more
His putter swings would leave the holes empty.
The words he would mutter were only fit for the gutter
Shocking the Gals of Transgender who golfed early.
 
Edmund Fitzgerald was the pride of the proctology side.
He could do a complete exam in half an hour.
As doctors go, he was quicker than most
And his plans of action were well-reasoned.
His hands left no germs. They were supple but still firm.
His office was fully staffed in Cleveland.
Late at nights, well past when his wife’s dinner bell rang,
You’d still find him with colons he’d been feelin’.
 
Rahm Emanuel in Chicago was a tattle-tale clown
Who claimed Barack could beat Edmund with his wailing.
The three men knew, as any internist did too,
A preborn’s for killin’; a colon’s for healing.
The wagers came late and the contest had to wait
Until the Gals of Transgender got their stash in.
When afternoon came they had set the game
In the face of a hurricane of betting.
 
The rules had been set that Obama had to let
The hospital vote for his coloscopy patient.
Fitzgerald was shrewd and as a Democrat approved
Of stuffing the ballot box with his selection.
He had the Mexican landscape crew and his dead mother too
Vote for the physician’s assistant, Moe Vender.
When the votes were all cast and the decision announced,
It was sweet music for Edmund Fitzgerald.
 
How shall it be said that Moe Vender was large?
If one chose, one might picture a coal barge.
Now take that view and multiply it by two
And one begins to see the challenge Barack was facing.
Moe ate 12 eggs for breakfast and 12 burgers for lunch.
Between, racks of lamb were a nibble for brunch.
A serving of veggies was Jelly Belly orange slices
Or apple cobbler with cinnamon spices.
 
Moe was put under without a hitch or a blunder
And a 5 horsepower pump began the work of distending.
Barack started examining the polyps deep within,
When the winds of Moe Vender came early.
Nurse Huron rolls as Moe Vender blows
And Barack grabs a patch of Moe’s back hair.
With 5 minutes left, he had to be dexterous and swift
If he’s going to beat the time of Edmund Fitzgerald.
 
It was quite a feat hanging on to Moe’s feet
As he held the fiber-optic camera with his bare teeth.
Obama turned blue and his nurses did too
When the gales from Moe Vender came early.
 
In a musty old hall in Chicago they prayed
In the Black Liberation Cathedral.
The church bell chimed till it rang 29 times
For each second Barack lost to Edmund Fitzgerald.
 
The legend lives on from his commie Ma on down
Of the abortion doc they called Barack Obama.
Satan, it’s said, never gives up his dead
Especially when they killed children so early.
 
 

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Prog(rammed) Babies







By what god did you cheat the plans of the 'Hood?
Does this god save beetles from the hearth's burning wood?
Your mother did not want you.
Your father flatly denied you.
And, if you could think, you'd know that's our view.

By some miracle you survived the salt's wicked burn.
A beetle shows less luck living the firewood's good turn.
Obama was right not wanting you pulled from the brink.
It's best had you died in the abortionist's sink.

But, you wormed your way out to find yourself here.
Just don't expect us to stand and give you a cheer.
Our five year plan will have to change without doubt
Since your soiled diaper will require us to Shout It Out.

Your lusting to live shows you have quite a nerve
Being that you start at the bottom of the curve.
It's thirty years up till you reach the bell's top.
That's complete encyclopedias of data per teraflop.

We've assigned you two parents named Wally and Wayne.
They're of the same gender but we're all basically the same. 
They'll feed you and guide you till you become four
Then you'll be enrolled in the school Common Core.

For each child, Common Core tracks 400 data points.
Does one parent seek God's grace?  Does one grace gin joints?
Schooling is more than reading, writing and arithmetic.
It has to know:  On Mondays, does your dog give you a lick?

In literature, Common Core doesn't dwell on the Classics.
You'll read government pamphlets on the safe use of hassocks.
Ignorance of Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn doesn't matter.
You're wiser to know not to use a hassock for a ladder.

Understanding Kipling's The Gods of the Copybook Headings
Will make less sense than girls speaking tongues at gay weddings.
But Common Core's agenda is to make a docile citizen,
Not to teach the child how light bends through a prism.

Arithmetic under Common Core is all about process.
Don't worry about right answers, go out and have recess.
To add 17 to 29, write 10 + 7 plus 20 + 9.
If you comprehend this, you'll do the problem just fine.

Common Core is President Obama's Race to the Top.
Your president loves you.  He doesn't want you to flop.
All in one basket, the states embrace Common Core.
It's a vicious lie they did it to receive a good score.

Finally!  You planted a flag on the bell curve's top.
Let the music play and the champagne cork pop.
You're 30 years old!  So, Asians call you a dope.
Tomorrow you'll be riding an exhilarating slope.

You are back where you started 80 years ago.
You're helpless as a baby and your memories don't flow.
You recall an old saying, "Reading is FUNdamental",
But nothing but government pronouncements were ever on your Kindle.

Friday, March 15, 2013

The Whizzers of Laws



 
 
Weeerrrrr're OFF to be the whizzers,
The wonderful Whizzers of Laws.
If ever oh ever a whizz there was
We've whizzing on you with Obamacare laws.
Because, because, because, because, BECAAAZE!
Because it's a wonderful thing, you Jew.
 
--------------------------------------------------------
 
I could be so elemental
Know a bean from a lentil
If I only had a brain.
 
I'd save youths in Iran
Critique the poem Kubla Khan
If I only had a brain.
 
I'd be contemplating for hours
About Michelle's wicked glowers
And her temper and disdain.
 
I'd tie Joe in a bundle
And together we would trundle
To run him over with a train.
 
Under my plant dichotomy
I'd classify Pelosi as algae
Because she leaves a green, oily stain.
 
I'd be so rootin tootin
I would glue the shirt on Putin
If I only had a brain.