The Warren Commission ...Of Unethical Acts

"Entangled Limericks"

True native she is 'cause of "high cheeks".

They lift up her mouth such that it leaks.

If Cherokee she were,

She'd be "Running Mad Cur"

'Cause she foams at the mouth whenever she speaks.

There once was a woman from Mass.

Who spoke from both sides of her ass.

Her mouth went to foamin'

When words were ah formin'

So, for her mouth, her ass had to pass.

The reason she is so damned ugly

Is, on her neck, her ass fits quite snugly.

With "cheeks" bottom to top

She's Cherokee non-stop

Which got her a professorship she touts smugly.

Her ass says, "You didn't build that!"

She offers no proof, not even one stat.

For libs, it don't matter

And what's even sadder

Their heads are on what they too sat.

Obama Executive Order Approved These Illegal Immigrants in Florida

Under the Obama administration, federal immigration officers released 36,007 illegal aliens having criminal records back onto American streets in 2013.  Of these 36,007 foreigners, there were 193 convicted of murder, 426 convicted of sexual assault, 303 convicted of kidnapping, and 16,070 convicted on DUI charges.  In 2014, there were 30,558 illegal aliens with criminal records released by DHS and ICE.  Once again, in 2015 Homeland Security released 20,000 illegal aliens with criminal records that included convictions for homicides, sexual assaults and kidnappings.  (Source of information: Washington Times)

If Obama's actions permit illegal alien murderers, rapists and child abductors to live amongst us, and his actions - to include the removal of all American troops in Iraq by not getting a status of forces agreement (SOFA) - permit the genocide of Christians and Yazidi in the Middle East, and his inaction permits the deaths of an ambassador and Americans in Benghazi, then what action or inaction that jeopardizes the safety and well-being of Americans and non-Muslims is Obama unwilling to make?  I would say, "None, maybe."

So, now that man-eating Nile crocodiles have been found in the Florida Everglades, who should be suspected of putting them there?  Where do Nile crocodiles originate?  African countries that include Kenya.  Who is the son of a Kenyan and dreams of achieving his father's goals?  Whose father probably wanted to make America look more like Kenya?  Do Nile crocodiles help make America look more like Kenya?  Whose father left America and an American wife because America didn't look enough like Kenya and he couldn't have more than one wife, but he did, and couldn't go into a ladies' bathroom, and missed seeing women peeing behind a tree?  Who is upset because Venezuela is closer to these ideals than America?  Who wants to take away our guns and make us resort to spears and machetes to protect ourselves from all the violent illegal immigrants, to include crocodiles, that he has unleashed upon us?

I would be very upset with the direction this country is taking except for the fact that I'm going to look damn good in a loincloth.

Alien PODS

Alien (Undocumented) Personalized, Optimized, DNA Splicing

I'm just a lonely, imperceptible voice crying out in the wilderness.  Even Horton wouldn't be able to discern who I am.  Meanwhile, ginger-haired nerd turd Mark Zuckerberg has his utterances embraced like Solomic judgements.  Why do I do it?

Well, I don't do it for you...primarily.  I do it for me.  In the only way I know how, I'm trying to show God that there's at least one person left on this planet, now that Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia is dead, who believes textually in His divinely-inspired United States Constitution and all of the rights it guarantees.  You may believe this too, but I can't hear you, Horton can't hear you, and God may not hear you.

With a rainbow, God notarized His promise to Noah and his family to never destroy the earth with a flood again.  There could have been people killed in the flood that were worthy of seeing that rainbow but who never proved, in voice, deeds or actions, their worthiness to God.

You'll note that God promised not to destroy the earth with another flood.  He never promised not to destroy the earth by some other means.  If you look at Mankind today, how much less sinful can it be than antediluvian Mankind?  Babies today are killed in their amniotic fluid by the millions.  Cuba kills three out of every four babies conceived.  It would be more than a shoutout to Planned Parenthood if Obama could get Cecile Richards some of that action.  In comparison, antediluvian preborns surely resided in a "sea of tranquility".  In many parts of the modern world, women are slaves and subjected to the utterly barbaric practice of female genitalia mutilation.  The progressive world doesn't voice objection to this because it believes in cultural relativism (try to love and understand the cannibal as he eats you); the progressive world voices objection to waterboarding and invites the people who should be waterboarded into this country where they can spread their barbaric practices such as female genitalia mutilation, pedophilia, and Sharia law.  The Pope, the paragon of virtue, is (1) humbling every Catholic by washing the feet of people who embrace a belief system that is completely antithetical to Christian doctrine, (2) decrying the use of the coal and oil that God created, and (3) disparaging capitalism, an economic system that has relieved more hunger, cured more illnesses, and pulled more people out of poverty than any economic system ever devised.  I'd consider "starting over" on just what the perceived infallible Pope is saying and doing.

If another do-over is in the works, God may choose an approach that doesn't destroy innocent wildlife and is more specifically tuned to the actual problem.  He could tweak the genetic makeup of every person He sees as a problem using personalized, optimized, DNA splicing (PODS).  PODS would be used as the person sleeps, and in the morning the person would wake up none the wiser that he or she is now a totally serene individual incapable of hate and sin and brimming over with love for his or her fellow member of humanity.  Personally, I would find this to be a horrible existence; thus I'm doing my best to convince God I don't need PODS.

If tomorrow I find you to be a completely different human being, I want you to know it's been a pleasure, for the most part, knowing the old you.

Wonka Loses His Willy in Chocolate Factory Mishap

And Other Future Internet News

Look into my crystal ball.  Just think of it as a spherical cellphone:

John Kerry and Paul McCartney go to Brussels and sing "Eight days a week, we la-of-la-of-lov you". (And you thought this administration couldn't come up with a bigger whopper than "Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall, all you have to do is call".)

Emory University students scared, in pain, and barricade themselves in dorm rooms after someone writes "crocodile" in chalk on campus sidewalks.

The great multi-tasker Obama adds Cuba to his legacy, thinks up a new strategy to give back Guantanamo, and wonders how much more leg his partner can show.

Cecile Richards and Planned Parenthood meet with Raul Castro to learn how Cuba aborts three out of every four babies.  (As Obama said, "Hopefully, we can learn from Cuba about improving human rights in America.")

Stop the World and Let Me Off

QUESTION:  Which of the 2 pictures below was on the Drudge Report news website this week?

ANSWER:  It wasn't Marco "Ricky Ricardo" Rubio.

The only people that are still fair game to be ridiculed and demeaned in this country are conservatives, and it doesn't matter if they're white, black, Hispanic, male or female, or even transgenders (See Caitlin Jenner).  While it's forbidden to demean actual little people, it's OK to make fun of someone's short stature, which just goes to show how retarded people are in this world.  Wasn't Drudge suggesting there's something wrong with being short?  And Drudge is certainly not alone.

Donald Trump calls Marco Rubio "Little Marco", and Chris Christie called Marco Rubio a "boy in a bubble".  Donald Trump is over 6 feet tall and Chris Christie is over 6 feet in circumference, so size still matters a lot in this politically-correct Bizarro World.

If Donald Trump was exactly the same person except for being a real conservative and the same height as Ross Perot (5'5"), the MSM would have a field day with headlines such as Stumpy Trump to Stump in Podunk.

POTUS Showed Us and SCOTUS His ANUS. How Nauseous!

Possible Explanations for Obama not attending Scalia's funeral:

1.  Obama loves to sleep in on Saturdays following the late evening document dumps at the White House on Fridays.

2.  Obama enjoys relaxing Saturdays in the Rose Garden feeding the squirrels - before Biden wakes up and needs them.

3.  Josh Earnest's explanation that Biden would go because of his smaller security footprint made no sense to anyone.  That's because Earnest failed to call it "a smaller security carbon footprint".  Now, that makes sense!

4.  Obama did not go to Margaret Thatcher's funeral and sent not 1, not 2, but 3 White House aides to Michael Brown's funeral.  When Obama heard Scalia had died, he threw his arms up and said, "Shoot!  I can't attend his funeral or Republicans will label me a misogynist."

5.  Obama is certain he read in the Affordable Care Act that antoninscalia is a highly infectious disease, and whoever died from it could still be contagious.  Obama had never heard of anyone named "Antonin".  Surely, that wasn't somebody's name.  People were named Mohammed, Malcolm X, Beyonce, Jay Z and GloZell in Obama's world.

6.  Obama knows a lot of Americans think he's a narcissist and he didn't want to add to that perception by going to a church that venerates his birth:  The Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception.

7.  Instead of listening to a Catholic choir, Obama and CIA director John Brennan planned to listen to the Muslim call to prayer, which they know is "one of the prettiest sounds on Earth".

8.  Obama was hosting a DNC gathering at the White House to unveil the new logo for the Democratic Party:

Commie Monkey Baby

 

 

 

"Commie monkey baby, Commie monkey baby!"  Get your Commie monkey baby and receive free college, free healthcare, free public transportation, free broadband, free housing, free food, free prescription drugs and marijuana, and free abortions-on-demand.  Get all national debt free too!  Have a baby and get two free years to decide whether you want to keep it.  Decide you don't want to keep the "post-fetal tissue" prior to its second year and abort it free of charge.  After all, everyone knows that "the tissue" isn't human until it stops living in the moment and begins to predict future desires and goals.  Do you know there was a time when parents waited a couple of years before naming their "post-fetal tissues" because "infant" mortality was so high?  Apparently, postponing the naming of the "infant" might have lessened the grief should the "child" die.  Well, your Commie monkey baby is going to give you back that freedom.  Why name something you're not going to keep?  It'll make it easier when the Planned Parenthood "nursery" comes by for the garbage and recyclables.

It's going to be difficult to keep up with all the free things you'll get with your Commie monkey baby, so just boil it down to: Your Commie monkey baby is going to be throwing a lot of free shit your way.

The Wager of Edmund Fitzgerald

The legend lives on from his commie Ma on down

Of the abortion doc they called Barack Obama.

Now Barack, it is said, never got out of his bed

Even when men were dying in Benghazi.

With a load of irons for twenty-six rounds or more

His putter swings would leave the holes empty.

The words he would mutter were only fit for the gutter

Shocking the Gals of No Gender who golfed surly.

Edmund Fitzgerald was the pride of the proctology side.

He could do a complete exam in half an hour.

As doctors go, he was quicker than most

And his plans of action were well-reasoned.

His hands left no germs. They were supple but still firm.

His office was fully staffed in Cleveland.

Late at night, well past when his dinner bell rang,

You’d still find him with rectums he’d been feelin’.

Rahm Emanuel in Chicago was a tattle-tale clown

Who claimed Barack could beat Edmund with his wailing.

The three men knew, as any internist did too:

A preborn’s for killin’; a colon’s for healin'.

The wagers came late and the contest had to wait

Until the Gals of No Gender got their bets in.

When afternoon came they had set the game

In the face of a hurricane of betting.

The rules had been set that Obama had to let

The hospital vote for his colonoscopy patient.

Fitzgerald was shrewd and as a Democrat approved

Of stuffing the ballot box with his selection.

He had the Mexican landscape crew and his dead mother too

Vote for the physician’s assistant, Moe Vender.

When the votes were all cast and the decision announced,

It was sweet music to Edmund Fitzgerald.

How shall it be said that Moe Vender was large?

If one chose, one might picture a coal barge.

Now take that view and multiply it by two

And one begins to see the challenge Barack was facing.

Moe ate 12 eggs for breakfast and 12 burgers for lunch.

Between, racks of lamb were a nibble for brunch.

A serving of veggies was Jelly Belly orange slices

Or apple cobbler with cinnamon spices.

Moe was put under without a hitch or a blunder

And a 5 horsepower pump began the work of distending.

Barack started examining the polyps deep within,

When the winds of Moe Vender came early.

Nurse Huron rolls as Moe Vender blows

And Barack grabs a patch of Moe’s back hair.

With 5 minutes left, he had to be dexterous and swift

If he’s going to beat the time of Edmund Fitzgerald.

It was quite a feat hanging on to Moe’s feet

As he held the fiber-optic camera with his bare teeth.

Obama turned blue and his nurses did too

When the gales from Moe Vender came early.

In a musty old hall in Chicago they prayed

In the Black Liberation Cathedral.

The church bell chimed till it rang 29 times

For each second Barack lost to Edmund Fitzgerald.

The legend lives on from his commie Ma on down
Of the abortion doc they called Barack Obama.
Satan, it's said, never gives up his dead
Especially when they killed babies so early.

Fat Bastard Jr. OR Fat Bastard "The Boy"

First, he ate Mitt's lunch, then he ate Rubio's lunch.

Just whose side is he on?

Shakespeare Did Not Write "This America"

From Act 2, Scene 2 of Romeo and Juliet:  What's in a name?  That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.  So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, retain that sweet perfection which he owes without that title.

From the final, interminable act of This America:  "If George Zimmerman had used the name Jorge Mesa, the Trayvon Martin confrontation never would have made front-page news."

In case you've lost your place in This America, your bookmark should be here:

The racist black bitch strutted her ass in front of a billion people giving homage to the violence-mongering Black Panthers and Malcolm X, while singing lyrics about police brutality and wearing garb festooned with "bullets".  The mind benders were not at all offended by this.  Their ire was unleashed on a Doritos commercial that humanized a human "fetus".

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/431014/race-privilege-america

Is Obama an Acorn Head?

During the time-frame that Iran released the four imprisoned Americans, Kerry and the Obama administration gave $1.3 billion to Iran (quid pro quo?).  The administration claimed the money was a settlement of $400 million Iran claimed was owed it going back to 1979, plus interest.  In 1979, Iran's leaders were powerless to free over 60 Americans being held by Iranian students in the US embassy.  Iran's government couldn't do a thing against students holding Americans, but the government finds it easy to kill students holding signs.

On a different topic, we should give Guccifer a medal.  "Guccifer" is the pseudonym of Romanian hacker Lehel Lazar, who hacked into and took control of Sidney Blumenthal's AOL email account.  Guccifer copied emails pertaining to Libya and other international topics Blumenthal had sent to the email address "hdr22@clintonemail.com".

Guccifer is not fighting extradition to the US.  Just, another nail in Clinton's coffin.  There's enough nails now to bury both Hillary and the State Department.

No Legacy to Stand On

Of the many legal practices of the Iranian justice system, one is shooting young Iranians peacefully protesting in the streets while holding signs beseeching Obama to stand with them.  Coming to their defense, what was it Obama said?  A, B, C, D...J,K,L,M,N.  N, it started with N.  Nay, naval, nation, naked.  No, November, December.  (Is this what the onset of Alzheimer's is like?  I once didn't go through the alphabet to remember names or words.)  Nuh, nuts, nothing.  Nothing.  That's it.  Obama said nothing.

Now, if you're Stephen Hawking, nothing is pretty damn hot!  Because, before the Big Bang, nothing was everything.  For the rest of us, we should be humiliated and appalled that our president stood by and said nothing and did nothing while young Iranians were slaughtered simply because they wanted freedom.  For Obama, a few dead protesters is a price worth paying, if later he gets a nuclear deal with Iran's Shiite leadership.  Another legal practice of their justice system and their faith is that lying to infidels is good.

Obama went on his "apology tour" in 2009, confessing America's sins on three continents.  Remember when he was showing despotic world leaders the top of his head, and showing you his nostrils?  His handlers cured him of that bad habit of holding his nose up in short order.  But in seven years, they haven't come close to curing him of lying and incompetence.   It was probably just a coincidence that the Arab Spring began in December 2010 and culminated in the ouster of Egypt's Mubarak in 2011.  The Muslim Brotherhood was elected to power in Egypt, which led to the brutal and deadly persecution of the country's Coptic Christians.  Christianity is not to be tolerated in fundamentalist Islamic countries.  What kind of countries flourish under Obama's tenure?

Obama pulled all American forces out of Iraq, saving defeat from the jaws of victory.  That has led to Iraq's Shia government aligning more and more with Shia Iran, and Iraq's Sunni regions coming under the control of ISIS to some extent.  It is also leading to the extermination and exodus of Christians in Iraq as well as the Yazidi people.

Obama verbally threatened Syrian leader, Bashar Al-Assad, with a red line of serious consequences should the Syrian leader use chemical weapons against Syria's populace.  The red line turned out to have as much substance as Obama's support for the Iranian Green Movement of 2009.  The red line was composed of nothing.  The violence in Syria has led to a mass exodus of its people, with scores of people drowning attempting to reach Europe.

Obama and Hillary led from behind to remove Muammar Qaddafi in Libya.  Qaddafi was killed and Libya was changed from a country to a "kill box" for different warring Muslim factions including ISIS.  Under Qaddafi, at least foreign embassies were relatively safe and four Americans wouldn't have died as America's military stood down and Obama slept.  Hillary was probably trying to save ambassador Stephens, but it just took her aides more than thirteen hours to remove the classified headings and cut and paste information from Stephens' dispatches to her emails.  God forbid that the Secretary of State receive anything classified!

OBAMA AND THE CAPTAIN OF THE COSTA CONCORDIA HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON.  THEIR INCOMPETENCE KILLS PEOPLE.

The Arab Spring that began after Obama's apology tour has morphed into a modern-day Exodus.  Western Europe is being besieged by Muslims from North Africa and Syria who don't have any intention of adopting western values.  With European birth rates declining, European culture is facing an existential threat.  Obama's greatest legacy may be the creation of a caliphate from Afghanistan to England.

Obama stopped the installation of a missile shield in Poland.  Putin smelled weakness and stole Crimea from Ukraine.  Putin is also waging a war using mercenaries in Ukraine.  Russia most certainly assisted in downing a Malaysian airliner over Ukraine, killing hundreds of civilian passengers.  How has Obama responded to this barbaric aggression?  He's given Ukraine meals-ready-to-eat, but no defensive weapons.  And in his last State of the Union, he called Ukraine a client state of Russia!  We Americans have become so inured to the incompetence of our government that we didn't even raise an eyebrow to this sell-out of a sovereign government.  How damn sad! 

When the American embassy was reopened in Cuba, opponents to the Castro regime were unwelcome.  Obama will have to move fast in his final year to close Gitmo and turn Guantanamo over to the Castros.   

Obama should consider backing a Republican.  With a legacy like his, he shouldn't want to save it.