Commie Monkey Baby

 

 

 

"Commie monkey baby, Commie monkey baby!"  Get your Commie monkey baby and receive free college, free healthcare, free public transportation, free broadband, free housing, free food, free prescription drugs and marijuana, and free abortions-on-demand.  Get all national debt free too!  Have a baby and get two free years to decide whether you want to keep it.  Decide you don't want to keep the "post-fetal tissue" prior to its second year and abort it free of charge.  After all, everyone knows that "the tissue" isn't human until it stops living in the moment and begins to predict future desires and goals.  Do you know there was a time when parents waited a couple of years before naming their "post-fetal tissues" because "infant" mortality was so high?  Apparently, postponing the naming of the "infant" might have lessened the grief should the "child" die.  Well, your Commie monkey baby is going to give you back that freedom.  Why name something you're not going to keep?  It'll make it easier when the Planned Parenthood "nursery" comes by for the garbage and recyclables.

It's going to be difficult to keep up with all the free things you'll get with your Commie monkey baby, so just boil it down to: Your Commie monkey baby is going to be throwing a lot of free shit your way.