Oxymorons

progressive Catholic:  Examples of this oxymoron include Joe Biden, John Kerry and Nancy Pelosi.  They claim to be Catholics and yet support the killing of preborns.  Priests should cross their foreheads with white-hot branding irons, because simple ash doesn't get through the numb skulls.  Being Catholic and being pro-choice (Pro-choice is not an oxymoron.  It's a prevarication.) is like trying to deep fry chocolate pudding.  You'll only get something pleasing and familiar to the ass of someone like Michael Moore.

 

reproductive health:  As used by progressives means the right to abortion.  Using the derivative of reproduce in this way, I want to reproduce Barack Obama, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, and Dr. Gosnell.  STAT!

 

climate change:  According to progs, the climate shouldn't change.  The climate should always be at the optimum temperature for growing marijuana.

 

armed conflict:  A sure-as-Hell oxymoron when describing Russia's conflict with the Ukraine because Obama won't give arms to Ukraine for Ukrainians to defend themselves.

 

naked aggression:  An oxymoron because while Putin has taken his shirt off, he hasn't taken his pants off, yet.  He could be afraid that Obama would retaliate by taking off his mom jeans.  If this were to happen, it would create another oxymoron:  a Weiner Fest.

 

Ambassador for Humanity:  A definite oxymoron because this award, Ambassador for Humanity, was presented by Steven Spielberg to Barack Obama.  For this to not be an oxymoron, humanity would have to be defined as a subset of humans to not include preborns, conservatives, Eastern Europeans, Syrian refugees, Republican congressmen, Iranian dissidents, drone "collateral damage", a Pakistani doctor, a Youtube video maker, the Koch brothers, border patrol agents killed by Fast & Furious guns, all the starving people in the world who would love to eat an ear of corn or the farm animals that could be raised on the vast amounts of corn being converted into biofuel, and all the poor of the world who will remain in poverty because of Obama's and the UN's climate change agenda.