Friday, August 14, 2015

Hunting For the King of Beasts




When you're going to hunt and kill the king of beasts, it's important that you use the right bait.  Here are some good baits to apply to the hood of your Range Rover to draw out the king:

BAIT OPTION 1


BAIT OPTION 2













BAIT OPTION 3








After putting one of these baits on the hood of your Range Rover, take your bow and hide immediately.  These baits should bring the king running.  If the king doesn't come, it is probably because he is preoccupied with something that your bait cannot compete with.  If that's the case, you could probably get away with jumping the fence and hunting the country fucker on his preserve.  If that sounds too dangerous, then you have two options:  Wait for the multi-million dollar diversion to end that has the king preoccupied...

...or forget the king and just settle for one of the 320 million beasts that consume their young to grace your trophy wall.



Thursday, August 6, 2015

Nature Abhors a Vacuum


Except Between the Ears of Progs






Kerry responds to a Congressman's question as to why the Iran deal is not a treaty:

"Well Congressman, I spent quite a few years trying to get a lot of treaties through the United States Senate, and it has become physically impossible. That’s why. Because you can’t pass a treaty anymore. It has become impossible to schedule, to pass, and I sat there leading the charge on the Disabilities Treaty which fell to basically ideology and politics. So I think that is the reason why."

 Less than 48 hours later, Kerry’s subordinate Henry S. Ensher, the State Department’s ambassador to the International Atomic Energy Agency (the same IAEA deeply involved in the Iran deal), proudly presented to the IAEA the formal United States ratification of a treaty: the Amendment to the Convention on the Physical Protection of Nuclear Material.


Text in red is excerpted from: 

http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/422035/kerry-claims-you-cant-pass-treaty-anymore-two-days-us-ratifies-treaty-andrew-c



Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Personhood or Just Hoods



Bill O'Reilly and Charles Krauthammer discussed abortion last night.  O'Reilly stated that human DNA is what makes abortion immoral and indefensible.  That is a position I would not argue against, but if that is your position, then how do you judge the cryogenic freezing of human embryos?  If human life begins at conception, with the merging of female and male gametes, then isn't freezing this human life to the coldest temperatures possible immoral?  Many, if not most, frozen embryos are never implanted in a woman's womb.

Charles Krauthammer "defended" the indefensible by trying to explain how progressives see abortion, a position that Charles clearly does not agree with.  He brought up the vague notion of personhood which he did not define.  Progressives can defend abortion because a fetus - a human preborn - is not yet a "person".

Personhood could be defined as those qualities and attributes that distinguish one human being from another and make humans unique and differentiable.  It's very easy to differentiate me from Arnold Schwarzenegger now, but as two first-trimester fetuses it could be extremely difficult.  But a DNA test would show us to be two completely unique beings.

Using personhood as your "morality yard stick" is a totally arbitrary concept, and one person's personhood may not be another's.  One Princeton professor, Peter Singer, has argued that killing a child up to two years old can be justified because a child under 2 years of age doesn't plan for the future.  The child lives for the present.  This type of valuing of human life isn't limited to liberal professors as witnessed by the murder of Terri Schiavo who was denied fluids until she died of dehydration.  If she had only been able to forecast a future need for a glass of water and expressed that need, she'd have been a human being.

Conservatives aren't going to accept the progressive's personhood argument and progressives will never accept that human life begins at conception.  So, let me offer a compromise.

I propose that humanness be evaluated on the following criteria:  DNA, potential, plasticity, carbon footprint, and net societal value.  DNA simply separates Man from chimp, and if progressives want to say that chimps are human and deserve human rights, we can take up that issue later.  Potential is a measure of the possible future output of a "candidate" for human membership.  Plasticity is the measure of a candidate's options in what direction the candidate's life can take in such matters as education, matrimony, fertility and career, etc.  Carbon footprint is an important issue for progressives so I'm throwing them a bone.  Lastly, net societal value measures whether a candidates contributions to Mankind are a net positive or a net negative.

Using these new criteria, let's choose 3 candidates for human membership taken at random.  A random selection chose Barack Obama, Gina McCarthy of the EPA, and a human preborn in the first trimester.

We'll assume all 3 candidates have human DNA.

A measure of potential shows both Obama and McCarthy on the descending side of a bell curve.  They have shot their wad.  The preborn is on the ascending side of a bell curve whose height is unknowable.

A measure of plasticity shows both Obama and McCarthy to have almost none.  The remaining plasticity of McCarthy may allow her to finish her transformation from Gina to Gene, but there's little plasticity left beyond that.  The preborn has almost unlimited plasticity in the possible directions its life may take.

The carbon footprints of Obama and McCarthy are gargantuan.  That of the preborn are minuscule.

The net societal value of Barack Obama is immensely negative.  If he actually does lead Jews to the ovens, it won't change his negative societal value that much as a percentage.  McCarthy is an imbecile who didn't even know how much carbon dioxide is in the atmosphere, and her EPA policies will be ruinous to America's prosperity.  The net societal value of a preborn is unknowable but it is certainly not negative unless you believe a preborn harms a woman's health.

The conclusions of these new criteria are that the preborn should be allowed to live, and the skulls and legs of Obama and McCarthy should be crushed and their guts harvested to feed the cubs of Cecil the lion.



Friday, July 31, 2015

Padres Vs. Cardinals are a Harbinger of End Times




Pope Francis should stop worrying about the devil's dung and worry about his B.O.

One of the harbingers of End Times could be the Prince of Darkness spreading his divisiveness and fracturing humanity's associations for good, like Christian organizations.  If so, then rancor in the Catholic priesthood could be a sign of End Times.



I liked Cardinal Dolan before I read his Op-Ed below.  Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it, and those that misinterpret the present condemn the future.




Thursday, July 30, 2015

What Difference Does It Make?







QUESTION:  What's the difference between Cecil and Cecile?

ANSWER:  One is a dangerous coldblooded killer and one is a lion.

Poor Cecil is dead.  Done in by a bow and arrow, and a rifle.  Presumably, Cecil was lured from the protection of a Zimbabwe park by a dead animal strapped to the hood of a vehicle, spotlighted and then hit - but not killed - with an arrow.  After about 40 hours of tracking, the hunters finally killed Cecil with a rifle.  What a gruesome death!  Can you imagine anything more gruesome?  Mia Farrow was so appalled that she tweeted the address of the American dentist who killed Cecil.  The MSM are so appalled they've been covering the death of poor Cecil with abandon.

What the MSM hasn't been covering are the videos uncovering the barbaric practices of Planned Parenthood, the organization headed by the bitch pictured above.  I can't explain the difference in coverage.  Maybe if preborns could be lured out of the protection of their wombs with a lollipop strapped to a baby toy, the difference would vanish.  Or, maybe 40 hours of suffering is the answer.  Crushing a head is just too quick and humane.  That must be the reason.



Saturday, July 25, 2015

Progressive Lives Should Not Matter

Beyond the Ability to Handle a Shovel


Number of US homicides from 1960 to 2013 (54 years)

1 FIGURE = 1 MILLION PEOPLE

Image result for person icon



Number of US abortions since Roe vs. Wade (42 years)

1 FIGURE = 1 MILLION PEOPLE

















 
In the 54 years from 1960 to 2013, a yearly average of 19,155 homicides occurred in America.  In the 42 years since Roe Vs. Wade, a yearly average of 1,375,289 abortions have occurred in America.  That is 3,767 abortions per day.  That is 6 Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings per hour, 24/7, occurring in America.

No one will ever know what any one of these murdered babies would have grown up to become, maybe an Einstein, a Ronald Reagan or a Willie Mays.  But, I know all too well what Obama grew up to become, and I'd trade his soulless miserable life in a heartbeat for any one of the murdered babies.


 

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Movie Mania This Fall on TV



"Nurse!  Forget the forceps, get me a CHAINSAW, STAHHH!"

Grab a blanket, cuddle up in the womb of your favorite chair, and try to muster the courage to watch Shark Navel.

When a young Muslim woman goes skinny dipping in the warm waters of the Straits of Hormuz where Iran has been secretly dumping its nuclear waste products, horror ensues.  Two months later, her fiance is accusing her of infidelity because she has to be pregnant.  To escape an honor killing, she immigrates to America to have an abortion.  Suffice it to say that when abortion doctors start having their heads and legs crushed (and their guts eaten), Democrats see a problem.

In No Time For Sergeants, a self-absorbed, lying piece-of-shit president of the United States has his press secretary make excuses for why the flag isn't lowered to half-staff for military recruiters killed by a Muslim terrorist.  Forget the movie and just watch the news.

Shitting on the Dock of the Bay is a Michael Moore documentary about homeless illegal immigrants in San Francisco.  The documentary finds that San Francisco has a restroom problem with illegals and not a murders and rapes problem.

Kenya Believe That? is an interactive movie that will be shown on Youtube.  The audience will watch different scenarios and be polled as to whether the scenario is true or not.  Here is a sample:

Scenario 1.  Hussein Obama will visit his ancestral home and face 5,000 naked men and women protesting his gay marriage stance.  They will be naked to show him the difference between men and women.  Kenya believe that?

Strawberries, Cherries and an Angel's Kiss in Spring is a docudrama based upon how John Kerry and the Obama administration passed off the Iran nuclear deal to Congress and Israel.



Monday, July 20, 2015

Carnac Redux

The Song Lyrics Edition

Carnac holds the manila envelope to his temple and confidently states the answer to the question hidden inside:

"They took the blue from the skies and the pretty girls' eyes."

Ed takes the envelope, opens it, and reads the question:

"How is it possible for the Obamas to have demoralized so many people and made them blue?"

Holding the envelope to his temple, Carnac states the answer to the second sealed question:

"It looks like muskrat love."

Ed reads the question:

"Now that same-sex marriage has been legalized, what will be the next Constitutional right SCOTUS legalizes?"

Carnac's third answer:

"This girl is on fire."

The third question:

"What did Jerry Brown say didn't take priority over the delta smelt for water?"

Carnac's answer to the 4th question:

"Another day older and deeper in debt."

The 4th question:

"Day to day, what is the absolute best you can expect from president Obama?"

5th answer:

"I left my heart in San Francisco."

5th question:

"What are the famous last words for fetuses and tourists in San Francisco?"

6th answer:

"Poor little robin, walking, walking, walking to Missouri, he can't afford to fly."

6th question:

"What is exhibit A of how bad the Obama economy is?"

7th answer:

"Let's bungle in the jungle."

7th question:

"What did Obama Sr. say to Obama Jr.'s mother to get her in the sack?"  (Sort of strange for 2 people in Hawaii.) 

8th answer:

"The devil went down to Georgia."

8th question:

"What should be the Atlanta Constitution's headline after Obama visited Atlanta?"

9th answer:

"Ol' Man River, That Ol' Man River, He must know somepin', but he don't say nothin'."

9th question:

"Who is someone who can't possibly be a politician?"

10th answer:

"Sittin' on the dock of the bay."

10th question:

"What is one of the tens of thousands of wide-open places an illegal immigrant can hide from ICE?"



Friday, July 17, 2015

Carnac, The Great and Powerful Seer




The Great Carnac placed the hermetically sealed envelope to his temple and stated the answer:

"Once, twice, three times a lady"

Upon opening the envelope and revealing the contents inside that Carnac could not have possibly seen, the audience gasped when the question was read:

What is the only thing on Bill Cosby's mind when he has 3 quaalude pills?

Carnac places a second envelope to his temple and says:

"in the vault"

The question in the second sealed envelope:

Where does Caitlyn Jenner say her pole is?

The answer to the third sealed question:

"goose liver"

The sealed question:

What does Planned Parenthood say is OK to do to a fetal liver as long as you don't crush it?

The answer to the fourth question:

"lead from behind"

The question:

How did John Kerry get his Purple Heart?

And the answer to the final sealed question:

"IED"

The question:

What do patriots hope Hillary Clinton would mistake for a IUD?



Welcome to Grape Vine News



It's a little known fact that when Hussein Obama was single he was looking to marry a girl who would always remind him of home, so he married MicHELLe.

There's an earthling in Congress (politically correct way of stating it) that wants to remove the terms "husband" and "wife" from all federal forms and communications, and wants all lone-wolf killers identified as "Bill Smith".

Michelle Obama has decided to relax her restrictions on school lunches and will now allow donuts, provided that the children only lick them while shouting "I hate America!"

Hussein was tougher on Iran than is known.  To sign off on a nuke deal, Iran wanted Jimmy Carter extradited in order to face Iranian justice for the attack (botched rescue mission) on Iran, but Hussein wants Jimmy to stay put.  After all, Carter may be the only earthling in America considered as incompetent as he is.

Five thousand nude Kenyans will welcome Hussein to his ancestral home shortly (it's true).  You won't see that much ass ever again unless Michelle invites Kim Kardashian to the White House.