The Selma Witch Trial, Act II "I Object to This Country"

*THIS IS A CONTINUATION OF "THE SELMA WITCH TRIAL" POST*

A New York Times reporter in the courtroom has jotted down notes in shorthand following the opening arguments of both the Prosecution and the Defense:

pros must have no hard evid.  it must be basin its case on circum evid.  must think elim stupid amercans as reson for 2 terms will meen witchcraft is reson.  Def is goin all out to prove amercans just stupid.  will admit to all obvius lies and disemblin of potus to prove amercans just plane stupid an potus is no witch.

Judge:  "Is the prosecution ready to call its first witness?"

Prosecution:  "We are, your honor.  The State calls the senator from the state of Massachusetts, Elizabeth Warren."

Elizabeth Warren takes the stand and says, "I do."  Her husband, seated in the courtroom, has his mind wander back to the worst day of his life when he married the squaw.

Prosecution:  "Permission to treat as a hostile witness, your honor?"  (Before the judge can respond, the Defense blasts off from his chair.)

Defense:  "I object, your honor!  I object to the term hostile being used for this witness.  And I strenuously object to the prosecution emphasizing the second syllable of hostile.  He's being anti-native American!"

Judge:  "For the remainder of this trial, we will use belligerent in place of hostile."

Prosecution:  "I object to that, your honor.  The first syllable of belligerent is bell and may conjure up the image of a Southern belle in the minds of the jurors when I'm calling female Democrats.  And that is the last image imaginable they should have in their heads."

Elizabeth Warren:  "I object!"

Judge:  "Just call your witnesses exceptional and I'll know what you mean, Mr. Prosecutor."

Prosecution:  "All right, your honor.  Now, Senator Warren.  Outside of his political career, what job did the defendant, Barack Obama, perform that most Americans singularly know him for?"

Warren:  "I would suppose a community organizer."

Prosecution:  "That is exactly right.  And back to the subject of syllables, what are the first two syllables of the word community?

Warren:  "Com-mune."

Prosecution:  "Commune as in communism!  What are the first two syllables in the word organizer?"

Warren:  "Organ."

Prosecution:  "Organ, as in what part of a frog or chicken do witches put in their spells: Frog organs and chicken organs!"

Defense:  "Your honor, is the Prosecution trying to prove my case for me with this line of questioning?"

Judge:  "Where are you headed with this line of questioning, Mr Prosecutor?"

Prosecution:  "Your honor, members of the jury, why would the American voters elect a man whose main claim to fame outside of a mediocre political career was being a community organizer.  Most Americans wouldn't even know what a community organizer does, and it sounds to me as some sort of made-up job.  I believe Barack Hussein Obama was a community organizer because it is part of a Divine Code.  DaVinci had his code and we are witnessing God's code if we will only open our eyes and decipher it.  Later, during my questioning of another "exceptional" Democrat, I'm going to show you a picture having the accused standing at a podium addressing the American people and he appears to have two sets of horns on his head.  Maybe, just maybe, Barack Obama isn't just a witch.  Maybe, he's the son of Satan."

Defense:  "MISTRIAL!  MISTRIAL!  YOUR HONOR, I DEMAND AN IMMEDIATE MISTRIAL!

Judge:  "ORDER!  ORDER IN THE COURT.  Bailiff, sequester the jurors.  Mr. Prosecutor, Mr. Defender, to my chamber.  NOW!"