I Guess He Was "Head Over Heels" In Love

Otherwise, he would have had pickled feet.


http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-London/2014/06/27/Gay-Man-Sentenced-For-Murdering-Lover-And-Cooking-Head

Dainty Bret Baier

I watched Bret Baier, of Fox News Special Report, interview Hillary Clinton Tuesday night.  That's 14 minutes I'd like to have back and put to better use, like plucking hairs from my ears and eyebrows. My male pattern baldness has been recompensed with ear hair and elongated eyebrow hairs.  The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

Less than a week ago, Bret Baier interviewed a former Air Force pilot who flew survivors of Benghazi to Germany the day after 9/11.  The Air Force officer said that the attackers of the consulate communicated with their leadership on Department of State cellphones.  So, not only did a street protest of a Youtube video inflame into an attack on the consulate with AK47s, prepositioned mortars, and a tactical knowledge of the consulate grounds, but the protesters had leaders that had given out their cellphone numbers in advance.  Perhaps, on the night of 9/11, while Obama and Hillary had their thumbs up their asses, the protesters were using their thumbs to text-message back and forth with leaders within arm's length, much like American teenagers. (The Obama doctrine is to be patient. The Islamists will grow up soon and stop lopping off heads.)

The night of 9/11 the Obama administration knew the attack on the Benghazi consulate was a terrorist attack, and not a protest of a Youtube video.  Why didn't Bret Baier ask Hillary Clinton, "How could you, madam Secretary, look at the caskets of the four dead Americans and their family members and tell them that the maker of a Youtube video will be punished for causing the deaths of ambassador Stephens and three other Americans?"  Bret Baier did not pose such a question.

During the interview, Clinton stated - just as she has written in her book - that Obama ordered the military to make every effort to protect Americans in Libya the night of 9/11.  Bret Baier did not follow up with a question about her assertion.  He should have asked, "So, the military was ordered by the commander-in-chief to do everything possible to protect ambassador Stephens that night.  What did the military do to obey that order?"  Her answer to that question would have been interesting.  Based upon all public knowledge, the military did not send, did not even mobilize, any assets to save American lives in Benghazi.  The Air Force pilot Bret Baier interviewed said he could have flown from Germany to Benghazi in four hours, but he was never ordered to prepare for a rescue mission.  Some of the Americans didn't die until seven hours had passed from the beginning of the attack.

Obama Serves With Honor and Distinction

Susan Rice would say so, and she's a Rhodes scholar.

Darwinists believe if you gave a chimpanzee an unbreakable word processor and an infinite amount of time that, because all possible combinations of random keystrokes would occur given enough time, a Shakespearean play would materialize at some point.  Darwinists were once young people who attended what are called "institutions of higher learning", which are the same places climate scientists come from.

Susan Rice, the Rhodes scholar remember, said Bowe Bergdahl served with honor and distinction.  And he deserted his post to seek out the Taliban.  That was a very dangerous thing to do.  Barack Obama deserted his post this Father's Day weekend to seek out a couple of rounds of golf and to give a commencement speech at the University of California at Irvine.  Obama's desertion was the act of a self-indulging coward.  When the commander-in-chief of the United States military deserts his post and gets his tail feathers preened by Cyrus-tongued sycophants, how can you punish a soldier for desertion?

While America's southern border is being breached, with impunity, by members of the Mara Salvatrucha transnational criminal gang (MS-13), and an Islamist caliphate is expanding in Syria and Iraq, and Putin is sending Russian tanks into Ukraine, Obama gave a commencement speech at Irvine on the real danger facing America and the world, climate change.

“Today’s Congress is full of folks who stubbornly and automatically reject the scientific evidence. They will tell you climate change is a hoax or a fad. One member of Congress actually says the world might be cooling.”

Obama obviously didn't get the memo.  It may have vanished at the same time as Lois Lerner's emails.  And obviously Obama hasn't read in the New York Times that the science isn't settled on whether the globe is heating or cooling, but the science is settled that it's doing one or the other.  The mantra of the "educated" Left is no longer global warming, but climate change or climate disruption.

Obama Says All Options Are on the (Dinner) Table

If Ben Carson Doesn't Run,

I'm Announcing My Candidacy For President of the United States

The platform I will run on will be composed of:

1.  Having George Bush Sr. jump out of an aircraft without a parachute for his ceasing of hostilities during Operation Desert Storm at just the time the American military was in position to destroy Saddam Hussein's Republican Guard.  This decision by Bush Sr. and allowing the Hussein regime to use helicopters to destroy Hussein's enemies following Operation Desert Storm changed history for the FAR WORSE.

2.  A presidential pardon of George Bush Sr. for his heroism in WWII.

3.  Having George W. Bush paint murals in Leavenworth for the remainder of his life for creating the FAR WORSE.  After 9/11, instead of going into Afghanistan and kicking Al Qaeda and the Taliban to hell and back, George W. elected to play it safe.  This resulted in bin Laden and Al Qaeda escaping from Tora Bora and moving to the safe haven of Pakistan.  Instead of a quick and decisive annihilation of Al Qaeda and the Taliban, Bush invaded Iraq and removed Saddam Hussein in a matter of weeks.  Having won the war, he proceeded to lose the peace by not including Iraqis in a new government, but setting up an American-managed, American military-backed caretaker government that resulted in the Iraqi people seeing the Americans as conquerors and not liberators.  The FAR WORSE of George W. Bush included establishing an environment that brought to power a candy ass, totally inept Marxist.

4.  No pardon for George W.

5.  Removal of Secret Service protection for Barack Hussein Obama and establishing a national lottery to see how long this MF lives.

6.  Fixing America's southern border by moving it to the Panama Canal.  Since Mexicans are so anxious to come to America, I'll bring America to them.

7.  Change the country's motto from IN GOD WE TRUST to WE LEAVE NO ONE BEHIND.  Progressives don't like the current motto, so in reaching across the aisle I want to give everyone a motto they can agree on, and progressives seem happy with WE LEAVE NO ONE BEHIND.  To live by our new motto, abortions will be outlawed so that unborn children are not left behind, turning corn into ethanol will be outlawed so the Hungry are not left behind, and DDT will be legal so children dying from malaria won't be left behind.  By living our new motto, we might find that God has some trust in us.

8.  The moment Iran builds a nuclear weapon, I will order a nuclear electromagnetic pulse (EMP) attack to destroy the country's electrical grid and their ability to make war.  To prevent any caualties, I will order the American military to mobilize to its fullest to provide food and potable water to Iran's people.  The EMP strike on North Korea happens the instant after my oath of office.

9.  I will super-glue a shirt on Vladimir Putin and super-glue Miley Cyrus into a burqa.

10.  After having enacted my platform in my first 90 days, I will resign and hand over the office of President of the United States to the honorable Mitt Romney, because in a fair and just world, he would be the actual president of the United States.

One More Time for Emphasis

MULTIPLE CHOICE:  What do you call a Beckel bobbing on the ocean?

A.  a cruise ship's lucky day

B.  a round mound of rebound

C.  poop from a sloop

D.  Godzilla's dinghy


Give up?  Actually, there's not much reason to differentiate between a Beckel on the water from a Beckel carrying water, which is what Beckel does on The Five.  He carries water for the Democrats.  Think of Bob "Bobbing" Beckel as a warning buoy.  He warns the other four of The Five when they're close to committing treason.  He has taught me a thing or two about treason, and he must be right as the other four have never pushed back when Beckel makes assertions about possible treason.  Beckel shows the same amount of wisdom on climate change as he does on treason.  But, beyond those two subjects, Beckel appears to be intellectually lazy and unprepared for discussing current events from 5 to 6.

So, after Beckel has taught The Five's audience everything about treason and climate change, he has ended his usefulness.  It would be time to move on to where he can be useful again.  He and Ed Shultz could serve a valuable service to Obamacare by cohosting a show on MSNBC.  It would make for a quick, efficient and cost-saving eye exam.  Optometrists would only have to say, "I'm going to change channels now.  Tell me when you see two fat-ass, blowhard imbeciles."

Charles Krauthammer is a Freaking Genius

QUIZ:  What do you call a Beckel bobbing in the ocean?

A.  a woman molester turned bouy molester

B.  a sex toy for a walrus

C.  a garbage scow in distress

D.  barnacle heaven

E.  flotsam, jetsam and dung some

F.  300 pounds of whale phlegm

Susan Rice said Bowe Bergdahl served with honor and distinction.  Bowe Bergdahl's hometown canceled his welcome home celebration because of safety concerns.  I'm tall, dark and handsome and a terrific dancer.

The above paragraph contains three lies.  One, Bergdahl served with honor.  Two, Bergdahl served with distinction.  Three, Bergdahl's welcome home celebration was cancelled because of safety concerns.  Anyone finding more lies can keep them to themselves.

What makes progs say lies that fly in the face of reality?  The simple explanation is:  That's what progs do.  And judging by Barack Obama, Jay Carney, Susan Rice and Harry Reid, that is a damn good explanation.  But, there is probably more to it than that.

I believe progs have a distorted sense of reality.  It's what Charles Krauthammer called last night on Special Report the White House's "conceptual problem".  Progs live in an abstract world where their lies are believeable, and maybe even true for all I know.  In this abstract world Bob Beckel can hit on Eric Bolling's wife, or some other attractive woman, because in Beckel World he's tall, dark and handsome.

In the abstract world progs live in Man does cause climate change.  That wouldn't be a problem for us flat-earthers except progs want to take trillions and trillions of dollars from us to fix Beckel World.

The Bittersweet Tail

STARRING



Once upon a time lived a candy ass president who didn't quite have a Midas touch.  Everything he touched turned to shit.  So, it might be said, "He had a toilet bowl touch."  Some claimed he led from behind, but actually, he led with his behind, which made his toilet bowl touch that much more devastating.

Candy Ass slowly turned the greatest republic in history into a banana republic, and like the Cavendish banana that fed the world and was going extinct, the republic stopped caring about feeding the world with staples and ideas of freedom and liberty, and was content with going extinct as long as it was relaxing.  Candy Ass didn't lead by law, he ruled by whim.

 

If the republic had cared about saving itself, it could have done so.  Even though Candy Crowley, as a debate moderator, was a cheerleader for Candy Ass and lied to the television audience to support him in a debate during Candy Ass's second presidential campaign, and even though most of the media supported Candy Ass, the republic knew - it was impossible not to know - that Candy Ass had a toilet bowl touch.

Candy Ass selected people with equal abilities to his to run his administration.  Therefore, they had no leadership abilities.  The head of the Justice Department looked like a whiskerless sewer rat, except that a sewer rat has beautiful, bright brown eyes that give it an endearing look.  Eric Holder looked like a whiskerless sewer rat with cataracts.  He called Americans a bunch of cowards, and Americans didn't mind.  They found it liberating and quite relaxing.

When Candy Ass went overseas, he was equally adept at making crap.  He once took a trip to Asia and met with the Eye Candy of Thailand.  He flirted with Eye Candy.  Oh, how he flirted!  Then, he went home to his wife, and probably got some crap beat out of him.  Eye Candy was overthrown by a military coup and placed under house arrest.  Defenders of Candy Ass will say forever that he had nothing to do with this.  But he went to Thailand, flirted with Eye Candy, and then she was overthrown.  That is pretty damning.  Just as damning as Man emits carbon dioxide, carbon dioxide is a greenhouse gas, therefore Man is causing runaway climate change.

 

Candy Ass is going back overseas and meeting the Candy Magnate of Ukraine.  As sure as the seas rise, Candy Magnate will be deposed by Vladamir Putin in the near future.  Candy Ass's toilet bowl touch is an unstoppable force.

 

Candy Ass is a bittersweet tail.  Half the world finds him bitter, and half the world finds him sweet.  Only a battle between Heaven and Hell will resolve who is right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



The CATUS

 

The Candy Ass of The United States

Why did we swap 5 Taliban devils for one American soldier?  When we could have swapped 100.

Obama should have insisted on sending every GITMO detainee to Qatar in exchange for Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl.  He then could have closed down GITMO as he's been promising to do since first running for CATUS.

There is only one reason he didn't do so.  Barack Obama is a candy ass.  He loves breaking the law and flouting executive powers in the face of Congress, but he knows better than going from push to shove.  Or as progs would say, "Nudge your way to your goals."

Obama broke the law in the exchange for Bergdahl.  The law states that he must advise Congress before such an action, but he did not.  The administration said that Bergdahl's declining health made an immediate exchange necessary.  If you believe that, I have some magic beans to sell you.  Eat the beans and you never will need a colonoscopy, and you'll lay golden eggs!

Bergdahl had been held by the Taliban for five years.  Watch as his declining health will limit his activity to a flight to Germany for a "quickie" physical and then on to America and a hug from the CATUS on the White House Rose garden in front of a mob of reporters.

My sister predicted Obama would deflect attention away from the VA scandal by getting Sgt Andrew Tahmooressi released from a Mexican prison.  If she had been any closer to the truth, I would suspect her of being a spy for the White House ferreting out redneck traitors.

Obama needed a win.  And he needed it with the military.  Sgt Tahmooressi is another deflection that Obama can hold onto for two and a half years.