God Said to Noah,

"Build an Ark 300 cubits long, 50 cubits wide and 30 cubits high."

To assist Noah in building an Ark, God gave Noah a measuring stick that was 1 cubit long and was marked in tenths of a cubit.  The stick was made of a heavenly material that did not expand or contract in length, whatever the temperature.  So, thank God, no matter how hot the climate got, a cubit was still a cubit.  Together with his friend, Nassau, Noah began drawing the plans for an Ark.  They decided the timbers for the Ark must be cut to an accuracy of one-hundredth of a cubit.

With the plans for the Ark all drawn out and every cut of every timber specified to one-hundredth of a cubit, Noah took the plans and the measuring stick to the master builder, Carson.  Carson looked at the plans and looked at the measuring stick.

Carson said to Noah, "I'll be honest and tell you I can't build this Ark.  You've given me specifications to cut every timber to an accuracy of plus or minus one-hundredth of a cubit, yet you've given me a measuring stick with an accuracy of plus or minus one-tenth of a cubit."

Noah responded,  "There is another master builder.  If you won't build the Ark, I'll ask Trump."

Trump agreed to build the Ark.  "It will be the greatest Ark ever and I'll get the Mexicans to pay for it.  It will be huuuge!", Trump said.  So, together with two Corinthians, Trump began building.

Every cut of every timber started an argument.  The two Corinthians and Trump would argue over what was 10 and five-hundredths cubits and what was 10 and six-hundredths cubits.  The project to build the Ark stalled and the melting polar ice caps didn't. 

The moral of this story is:  Don't pay attention to people who say they can measure things to accuracies finer than the tools they measure with.  Such people are idiots and certainly not scientific.

Dr. Richard Lindzen said, “When someone [NOAA and NASA] points to this [a graph] and says this is the warmest temperature on record [2015]. What are they talking about? It’s just nonsense. This is a very tiny change period. And they are arguing over hundredths of a degree when it is uncertain in tenths of a degree.”

http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2016/01/21/2825535/

Children of the Corn

In the movie Interstellar, the Earth is an inhospitable place where nothing grows but corn, sort of like Iowa.  Iowa is so boring that getting out in arctic-temperature weather and spending a whole evening talking about politicians and voting is considered fun.  When you can't watch corn grow, you have to do something to pass the time.

It just goes to show what a screwed-up world this is when Iowans are given more influence in choosing a presidential nominee than people who know a God's little acre when they see it, Southerners for example.

Presidential candidates lose their testicles in Iowa faster than Joni Ernst can snip. Even "The Don" got snipped faster than you can say "You're fired!".  They were huuuuge!  So, candidates leave Iowa already having sold the farm (your farm) to the Ethanol Lobby.  What did you get for your farm?  You got the privilege to support the production of worse-than-useless ethanol with your taxpayer dollars.

Corn ethanol cost taxpayers approximately $40 billion in tax credits (subsidies) between 1978 and 2012.  (NASA could put a permanent colony on the moon and begin mining helium 3 for fusion power research with $40 billion.)  Taxpayers spend an additional $10 billion per year in fuel costs because gasoline with 10% ethanol is more expensive and gets poorer gas mileage.  Forty percent of America's corn crop goes toward ethanol production.  That drives up food prices, puts cattle ranchers out of business, and increases the costs of federal nutrition programs.  It also increases the costs of feeding those GITMO detainees, which Obama failed to mention.  (GITMO is such a budget-buster!)  In 2016, Americans will spend an additional $3.5 billion on food because of the mandates Congress enacted for the use of biofuels.

In addition to its costs, gasoline with ethanol pollutes more than gasoline without ethanol.  Making ethanol fuel from corn is also immoral.  About 1 in 9 people in the world do not have enough food to lead a healthy, active life.  America turning 40% of its corn crop into fuel when there are vast amounts of fuels, provided by God, beneath our feet is inhumane.

The Children of the Corn is a horror movie.  Now, you know why.

Obama is What Lies Beyond the Bottom of the Barrel

Obama's presidency is like a bad movie.  It's like a Quinton Tarantino movie where this black, evil son-of-a-bitch goes around killing "the some good that's left in this world that's worth fighting for".  An apt title would be The Desolation of Smug.

Earth to Paris

Dear Citizens of Paris,

We, the people of Earth, will not argue the point that some man-caused disaster befell your beautiful city on Friday the 13th, close to the witching hour.  The cries of fear and death, the moribund bodies strewn about, and all the restaurant meals glazed in crimson make any debate on that subject moot.  But, while we will not argue that a man-caused disaster occurred, we vehemently object to French President Hollande blaming ISIS for this overly enthusiastic protest.

On the morning of Friday the 13th, President Obama on ABC's Good Morning America told George Stephanopoulos, "... we have contained them [ISIS]."  Obviously, if the president of America has contained ISIS, then ISIS cannot be responsible for the late-night partying that got out of hand because firearms are not adequately controlled in France.  The debate is over.  It wasn't ISIS.  It may have been a video, and the White House has recalled Hillary Clinton to investigate the possibility.  But, at this point, what difference does it make?  Was it because of a protest or was it because a bunch of guys out for a walk Friday night decided to go kill some Frenchies?

Don't press the issue that it was ISIS.  To do so will cause president Obama to perform all sorts of rhetorical gymnastics for days on end defending his claim, and frankly those are feats of flaccid serpentine movements that have gotten old and disgusting to watch.  We've seen Obama twist himself into a Gordian knot for seven years, now.  The debate is over.  He can cover his ass with his flaccid, serpentine spine. 

We, the people of Earth, grieve with you in your loss.  But, we must grieve quickly and move on.  In December, the world governments are coming to Paris to convene a conference on climate change.  As you know, anthropogenic climate change is the greatest threat facing Mankind - far, far, far greater than a few immature Muslims practicing their faith on a Friday night.  Muslims, who by the way, don't realize that this is the 21st century and this type of behavior is not supposed to exist anymore.

Sincerely Yours,

Earth

A Video Is To Blame

Take the Left's "Logic" To Its Natural Conclusions

Bill Nye, the science guy, has a video titled "Can We Stop telling Women What to Do With Their Bodies?".

Whoopie Goldberg has blasted critics of Planned Parenthood, telling them to "Get out of my vagina!"

This is how the Left defends abortion: You can't tell a woman what to do with her own body.  But, try to think of a law that doesn't pertain to controlling people's behavior, which is the same as telling them what they can do and can't do with both their minds and their bodies.

As much as I'd like to, I  can't scream "FIRE!" in a crowded theater to see how many Muslims would be trampled in the stampede.  If I did it enough times, I might break the Mecca record, and I'm still waiting for my fifteen minutes of fame or infamy that I'm entitled to. What gives government the right to control my tongue?  "Get out of my mouth!"

For some reason there is a law against pedophilia.  If an adult man has, in his mind, a healthy and natural desire for sexual relations with a child, what right does society have to regulate the man's desire, especially if the child is receptive to the pedophile?  And, at what point, does it matter if the child is receptive or not?  A preborn is never receptive to an abortionist's forceps, but that never matters.  Child rape is such an inflammatory term. Let's be more politically correct and start calling it rug rat wrestling, and let's stop telling a man what he can and cannot do with his own penis for God's sake!

Of course, if society is going to make it lawful for a woman to kill a person currently living in her womb because society can't tell women what to do with their bodies, then it crosses the line from sanity to insanity for a society to outlaw suicide.  But then, that line wasn't just crossed, it was stampeded.

It's Deja Vu All Over Again

Jesus H Christ!  There, once again, was Barack Obama preempting my TV shows.  Once again, he was back in Chicago giving a speech after a particularly violent, bloody weekend in the windy city.  Again, he was telling thousands of onlookers that some of the strictest gun laws in the country had failed to protect them, that they had much more to fear from black on black violence than from the police, that they lived in constant fear of gang violence because of lax enforcement of immigration laws and a Democratic party that had failed to protect them.

This speech was more entertaining than usual.  The "hot mike" incident was a hoot!  Prior to beginning his speech, Obama was overheard telling an aide that this quickly planned trip to Chicago almost made him forget to insult Netanyahu by taking Kerry and Samantha Powers away from Bibi's UN speech for an "important teleconference".  Obama also threw his own religion under the bus when he told his fellow Chicagoans that, while things are bad in Chicago, at least they didn't live in Mecca where a thousand people can be trampled to death during the Hajj pilgrimage.  What about those jokes from Obama?

Why do Muslims take their shoes off before entering a mosque?

Answer:  They're less inclined to stampede.

Why do Muslims touch their foreheads to a carpet when they pray?

Answer:  It cushions their heads when they're stepped on.

What's the difference between the running of the bulls and the Hajj pilgrimage?

Answer:  Bulls don't shout, "There is no god but Allah!" 

The 80s Called, Obama

They wanted to know if you wanted to trade up to Jimmy Carter's backbone.  They'll throw in Jimmy's lips that he kissed Brezhnev with since you've worn your's out kissing mullah and Putin ass.

A New Beginning

And Nahsa said, "Let the dry ground under the sky be gathered to one place, and let water appear."  And it was so.  Nahsa called the dry ground "Martian soil", and the gathered waters he called "perchlorates".  And Nahsa saw that it was good.

Then Nahsa said, "Let there be life!"

Instead of wasting its budget looking for life in salty water on Mars, a fool's errand, NASA could look for life in human amniotic fluid, and prove its existence to progressives.  This might also be a fool's errand but at least it wouldn't require traveling 40 million miles and hundreds of millions of dollars to attempt.

Look at the picture of an almost 18-week-old fetus:

Beginning around 10 weeks of development, this baby could yawn and suck its thumb.  Any rational person would believe this is a human being that has as much right to live as any human being, maybe more so.

This baby has a very small, negligible carbon footprint.  It isn't contributing to coastal flooding, California wildfires, or Miley Cyrus's refusal to wear clothes.  On the other hand, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Al Gore and all the progressive fanatics of Hollywood have carbon footprints hundreds to thousands of times larger than what would be considered average.  If as Obama believes:  Manmade climate change is currently the greatest threat to Mankind, then he and the other climate-change fanatics should consider "offing" themselves, because they are grave threats to Man's continued existence based upon their own belief system.

I would be happy to help them in this endeavor because I happen to believe progressivism in Mankind's greatest threat.  It is unquestionably a free and prosperous America's greatest threat.

O On T's?

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Lady Gagas Congress

The term RINO, Republican in name only, is obsolete since the Republican party consists mostly of Washington politicians that work to maintain the power of the State and their positions in it.  The idea that the Republican party stands for traditional American values and morals and vigorously defends the Constitution is simply false.  "Rino" was never an appropriate moniker anyway.  Those two syllables connote superhuman power and a millisecond reaction to charge a threat because the picture of a rhino comes to mind.  Republican politicians are more like meerkats that display an erect backbone only so long as no hawks are seen.  First sign of a hawk or threat has them scurrying back to their burrows.

The meerkat Bob Corker is a good example of today's Republican politician.  It was a bill he authored that ensured and insured that the Iran nuclear deal would get past Congress's scrutiny.  Corker's bill ensured - guaranteed - Obama's agreement with Iran would stand.  Corker's bill insured - guaranteed against loss or harm - Obama's agreement would not even be amended.  Corker's bill might even stop the Senate from voting on the Iran deal and putting egg on Obama's face if a few more Democrats come out and support the deal.

This Republican Congress will not stop the worst international deal since the Munich agreement in which England's Neville Chamberlain surrendered to Hitler's demands.  This Congress can't even muster a vote to defund Planned Parenthood!

Instead of RINO, most Republican politicians should have the moniker "Lady Gaga".  They Go Along to Get Along with the emperor, Barack I.  There's four syllables that appropriately connote vulgarity and indignity.

 

 

 

The Reign of Barack I

The reign of Barack I will go down in history as the first time that a ruler was also the court jester.  As the ruler, Barack I could spend a trillion dollars and not invigorate an economy one smidgen.  As the clownish court jester, Barack I could make the flippant comment, "It seems that shovel-ready jobs were not as shovel-ready as we thought", and at least get Jeffrey Immelt to laugh.

If you listen closely, you can hear Barack I say, "It looks like my red lines were not as red-y as I thought."

Ho-ho, that's a killer!