Four Dead in Ohio

I hadn't seen a mugging this brutal since a poor, over-weight man was swarmed by cops in New York City for just selling loosies.  Being a black man, he should have never seen this coming.  Barack Obama and Al Sharpton want cops to treat all people of color with kid gloves, even when they're using fake identities and killing pedestrians.  On the other hand, TCU should have seen this coming - in this world.  After all, their middle name is Christian.

 

TCU, Texas Christian University, dropped from the number 3 ranking to the number 6 ranking in the final college football playoff standings.  This drop in the rankings occurred the day after TCU had gashed Iowa State 55 to 3.  What was TCU supposed to do to retain its ranking and a spot in the four-team playoff?  Send the Iowa State players to the morgue?

The playoff selection committee, on Sunday, proved that their process for choosing the best college football teams is both arbitrary and without merit.  TCU should have never been ranked higher than Florida State.  Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing is pretty much true as long as you're not trying to send your competitors to the hospital, and no one has done winning better than Florida State this season.  But the committee did put TCU above Florida State, and then put Florida State above TCU!

This new 4 team playoff system is worse than what college football had.  It's much harder for a team to claim to be one of the two best teams in the nation than to claim to be one of the four best.  Outside of Alabama, Oregon, and Florida State, I don't believe there's much merit for any team to claim to be one of the best two.

Why did the selection committee elevate Ohio State into the playoffs?  Ohio State's 59 to zip trouncing of Wisconsin wasn't so much a sign of Ohio State's strength as it is a sign of the Big 10's weakness.  For a Big 10 division champion to have its ass handed to it in such a lopsided fashion in the Big 10 championship game doesn't say as much about Ohio State as it says about Wisconsin.  The hype associated with Ohio State football is as much deserved as the hype about Urban Meyer being sick.  Both were and are myths.  Meyer was only sick of being in Florida.

Hopefully, the hype about the greatness of Ohio State football will once again be bludgeoned by reality when OU faces another SEC team.  So far, TCU and Baylor's football dreams died in Ohio.  Here's hoping that Ohio State's and Urban Meyer's do as well.

Wee the People

It was stagecraft.  There was Barack Obama looking you straight in the eye, in long-sleeve shirt and tie, and sitting on the Resolute desk (hiding his shoe marks).  He appeared ready for work.  His handlers probably wanted his shirt sleeves rolled up, but Vladimir Putin has copyrighted showing that much skin.  The scene was too workmanlike and, therefore, too un-Obama-like.  Michelle should have been standing next to him in a black gown with a pyramid of three champagne glasses balanced on her butt.  Just to show Kim Kardashian that two can play that game.  And only two.

I don't have the foggiest idea what Obama said except I do know what he was saying.  He was saying tomorrow night at 8 PM we officially become a banana republic.  Dictatorship through executive fiat takes precedence over the US constitution.

Obama didn't hear the one-third of the electorate that voted November 4th, but he claims he heard the two-thirds that didn't vote.  Obama can hear college students crying about rising sea levels as the snows threaten to cover their chinny chin chins.  He can hear his daughters and change his mind about gay marriage.  But he didn't hear or feel the earthquake that swallowed some of his Democrat sycophants.  How did his daughters get through to him?  Kick him in the nuts?  Put his putter in the freezer?

Some moron once said "Life is like a box of chocolates", and it wasn't Forrest Gump.  It was Tom Hanks who gave Al Franken the maximum legal contribution in Franken's first senatorial run, even though Franken was running in Minnesota and Hanks probably couldn't find Minnesota on a map.  Hanks finds it OK to mess in other states' politics while ridiculing his own state's voters exercising their right to vote.

America is like a box of chocolate-covered cherries.  Progressives, like Obama, have finally licked off all the chocolate and all that's left is a bunch of goo and hollowed-out cherries, and the only pit in sight is the one to Hell.

Metaphorically Speaking

OBAMA SEES HIMSELF AS ATLAS CARRYING THE WORLD ON HIS SHOULDERS, BUT HE'S MORE LIKE AN INSECT MAKING A BALL OF SHIT.

Questions About Ferguson

QUESTION:  How do you stop an angry mob of lawless rioters?

ANSWER:  You call for a special election and the Democratic Party will bus them, in orderly fashion, to the polls.

QUESTION:  How do you tell the difference between the dance moves in a  Beyonce concert and the moves of street thugs falling over themselves as they scramble through broken store windows?

ANSWER:  Beyonce's parts jiggle more.

QUESTION:  Is it just a conspiracy theory that Barack Obama had Michael Brown killed to get Fox News obsessed with Ferguson and off the White House scandals?

ANSWER:  No, it's not just a conspiracy theory, it's my conspiracy theory and I'm sticking to it until I come up with one that doesn't involve eliminating a Democrat voter.

QUESTION:  Is there any truth to the rumor that the NFL wants the town of Ferguson to perform and sing the Mylie Cyrus song Wrecking Ball at this winter's Super Bowl?

ANSWER:  None whatsoever.  Ferguson refused to pay to perform.

QUESTION:  What's the difference between the Pied Piper and Eric Holder?

ANSWER:  The Pied Piper was a white man who could charm rats and Eric Holder is a rat who doesn't find anything charming about white men, or white women for that matter.

Women Are From Venus, Men Are From Mars,

Democrats Are From Alpha Centauri

In the great western, The Big Country, Chuck Connors tells his father, Burl Ives, that the school teacher, Jean Simmons, is sweet on him.  ( In today's terminology, that means they were being heterosexual deviants.)  Ives kidnaps Simmons hoping to get her ranch The Big Muddy, the only reliable source of water for Ives' cattle.  (In today's regulatory world, this makes absolutely no sense since the Big Muddy is obviously some kind of waterway and the EPA would put the screws to anyone trying to use it for profit.)  When Ives proposes a marriage between Connors and Simmons (more heterosexual perversion), the reaction from Simmons says it all:  Chuck Connors had told his father a bald-faced lie.  Ives looks at his son and says, "If you ain't the mother and father of all liars!"

If Connors was the mother and father of all liars for telling one whopper of a lie, then what is Barack Obama?

The Octomom and Octodad of All Liars?  Prodigious progeny all on the government teat.

The McDonald's of Liars?  Over One Billion Served

The Hamas Charter of Liars?  ...and the rocks and trees will cry out, "Oh Muslim, there is a Jew hiding behind me, come and kill him!"

The Hydra of All Liars?  Cut off one lying asshole head and two take its place.

The Black Hole of Liars?  Lies that cross its event horizon into the visible universe are never observed by the MSM.

Impeach, Court-martial, Execute

John Fitzgerald Kennedy's presidency was called Camelot.  Barack Hussein Obama's presidency should be called Sodom and Gomorrah, and not because the dark stain on America has a Middle Eastern name, although that is as good a place to start as any.

Barack Obama's presidency has been one of sin at a magnitude never before witnessed in American history.  Sloth has become an encouraged lifestyle and Obama has placed welcome mats on the border to sustain the lifestyle.  Obama has enough gray matter to know that someone has to do some work so he has re-instituted indentured servitude in America.  Under Obama, illegal immigrants are being given quasi-legal status that leads to them being abused in the marketplace and in their housing.  Unscrupulous slum lords, like once slum queen Valerie Jarrett, take advantage of the immigrants by renting them substandard quarters and shoehorning them in.

Obama likens himself a pacifist but he started WWI and he and the Democrats have started WWII, the second War on Women, heading into the 2014 midterms.  The women Obama defends want the Catholic Church to keep its rosaries off their ovaries*, but they will sell their votes like cheap whores for free contraception and broken promises of pay equality.  One of the first acts of president Obama was to protect the "reproductive health" of foreigners by cancelling George W. Bush's executive order of denying taxpayer funds to overseas groups that supported abortion. Right off the bat Obama showed he cared more about non-Americans than he did Americans.  To win an election, Obama would enthusiastically support third trimester abortions, sex-selection abortions, and partial-birth abortions.  None of these types of abortions is as heinous as Obama's past support for denying medical assistance to babies surviving botched abortions in Illinois.  One of the people Obama is likely to pardon before the end of his second term is mass murderer Kermit Gosnell, because - for progressives - the extermination of preemies isn't really murder.  

Obama's violations of his oath of office are only few in number when compared to his golf rounds and his lying.  It must have been Karma for Chief Justice Roberts to have error-ed in the first swearing in of Obama.  The Chief Justice swore Obama in again later to confirm that the oath was accomplished.  Roberts was wasting his time the first and second times.  Obama doesn't defend the Constitution, he wipes his ass with it in the toilet.  He and Eric Holder don't have enough time to enforce federal laws because they're too busy breaking them.  Not only should Obama be impeached for his felonious acts, but he should be court-martialed for abandoning his post as commander-in-chief.  Obama abandoned his post on the night the Benghazi consulate was attacked.  Was he in bed, resting for a fund-raising trip the next day?  In her book Hard Choices,  Hillary Clinton claims that Obama ordered the military to do everything possible to save Americans in Libya that night.  To believe that, one must also believe the military disobeyed a direct order from the POTUS.  The military STOOD DOWN that night.  The American military was missing-in-action during the death of ambassador Stephens because the president of the United States had deserted his post.  Soon, Obama is going to Texas for another of his innumerable fundraisers and he is not going to the Southern border.  Once more, he is abandoning his post.

If and until Barack Hussein Obama is court-martialed for offenses committed as commander-in-chief, Bowe Bergdahl should not be charged with a crime under the UCMJ.

God turned Lot's wife into a pillar of salt just for looking back at Sodom and Gomorrah.  God should have far worse in store for Obama for creating a Sodom and Gomorrah.  But I for one will not be satisfied if Obama escapes justice on earth.  I want him to suffer for his sins now.  He should be impeached.  He should be tried under the Uniform Code of Military Justice, and if found guilty, he should be punished to the maximum extent possible for a commander who abandons his post when his "soldiers" are under enemy fire.

* The slogan "keep your rosaries off our ovaries" was on a sign being carried by a little girl in a protest against the Supreme Court's Hobby Lobby decision.

I Guess He Was "Head Over Heels" In Love

Otherwise, he would have had pickled feet.


http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-London/2014/06/27/Gay-Man-Sentenced-For-Murdering-Lover-And-Cooking-Head

Dainty Bret Baier

I watched Bret Baier, of Fox News Special Report, interview Hillary Clinton Tuesday night.  That's 14 minutes I'd like to have back and put to better use, like plucking hairs from my ears and eyebrows. My male pattern baldness has been recompensed with ear hair and elongated eyebrow hairs.  The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

Less than a week ago, Bret Baier interviewed a former Air Force pilot who flew survivors of Benghazi to Germany the day after 9/11.  The Air Force officer said that the attackers of the consulate communicated with their leadership on Department of State cellphones.  So, not only did a street protest of a Youtube video inflame into an attack on the consulate with AK47s, prepositioned mortars, and a tactical knowledge of the consulate grounds, but the protesters had leaders that had given out their cellphone numbers in advance.  Perhaps, on the night of 9/11, while Obama and Hillary had their thumbs up their asses, the protesters were using their thumbs to text-message back and forth with leaders within arm's length, much like American teenagers. (The Obama doctrine is to be patient. The Islamists will grow up soon and stop lopping off heads.)

The night of 9/11 the Obama administration knew the attack on the Benghazi consulate was a terrorist attack, and not a protest of a Youtube video.  Why didn't Bret Baier ask Hillary Clinton, "How could you, madam Secretary, look at the caskets of the four dead Americans and their family members and tell them that the maker of a Youtube video will be punished for causing the deaths of ambassador Stephens and three other Americans?"  Bret Baier did not pose such a question.

During the interview, Clinton stated - just as she has written in her book - that Obama ordered the military to make every effort to protect Americans in Libya the night of 9/11.  Bret Baier did not follow up with a question about her assertion.  He should have asked, "So, the military was ordered by the commander-in-chief to do everything possible to protect ambassador Stephens that night.  What did the military do to obey that order?"  Her answer to that question would have been interesting.  Based upon all public knowledge, the military did not send, did not even mobilize, any assets to save American lives in Benghazi.  The Air Force pilot Bret Baier interviewed said he could have flown from Germany to Benghazi in four hours, but he was never ordered to prepare for a rescue mission.  Some of the Americans didn't die until seven hours had passed from the beginning of the attack.

Obama Serves With Honor and Distinction

Susan Rice would say so, and she's a Rhodes scholar.

Darwinists believe if you gave a chimpanzee an unbreakable word processor and an infinite amount of time that, because all possible combinations of random keystrokes would occur given enough time, a Shakespearean play would materialize at some point.  Darwinists were once young people who attended what are called "institutions of higher learning", which are the same places climate scientists come from.

Susan Rice, the Rhodes scholar remember, said Bowe Bergdahl served with honor and distinction.  And he deserted his post to seek out the Taliban.  That was a very dangerous thing to do.  Barack Obama deserted his post this Father's Day weekend to seek out a couple of rounds of golf and to give a commencement speech at the University of California at Irvine.  Obama's desertion was the act of a self-indulging coward.  When the commander-in-chief of the United States military deserts his post and gets his tail feathers preened by Cyrus-tongued sycophants, how can you punish a soldier for desertion?

While America's southern border is being breached, with impunity, by members of the Mara Salvatrucha transnational criminal gang (MS-13), and an Islamist caliphate is expanding in Syria and Iraq, and Putin is sending Russian tanks into Ukraine, Obama gave a commencement speech at Irvine on the real danger facing America and the world, climate change.

“Today’s Congress is full of folks who stubbornly and automatically reject the scientific evidence. They will tell you climate change is a hoax or a fad. One member of Congress actually says the world might be cooling.”

Obama obviously didn't get the memo.  It may have vanished at the same time as Lois Lerner's emails.  And obviously Obama hasn't read in the New York Times that the science isn't settled on whether the globe is heating or cooling, but the science is settled that it's doing one or the other.  The mantra of the "educated" Left is no longer global warming, but climate change or climate disruption.

Obama Says All Options Are on the (Dinner) Table

If Ben Carson Doesn't Run,

I'm Announcing My Candidacy For President of the United States

The platform I will run on will be composed of:

1.  Having George Bush Sr. jump out of an aircraft without a parachute for his ceasing of hostilities during Operation Desert Storm at just the time the American military was in position to destroy Saddam Hussein's Republican Guard.  This decision by Bush Sr. and allowing the Hussein regime to use helicopters to destroy Hussein's enemies following Operation Desert Storm changed history for the FAR WORSE.

2.  A presidential pardon of George Bush Sr. for his heroism in WWII.

3.  Having George W. Bush paint murals in Leavenworth for the remainder of his life for creating the FAR WORSE.  After 9/11, instead of going into Afghanistan and kicking Al Qaeda and the Taliban to hell and back, George W. elected to play it safe.  This resulted in bin Laden and Al Qaeda escaping from Tora Bora and moving to the safe haven of Pakistan.  Instead of a quick and decisive annihilation of Al Qaeda and the Taliban, Bush invaded Iraq and removed Saddam Hussein in a matter of weeks.  Having won the war, he proceeded to lose the peace by not including Iraqis in a new government, but setting up an American-managed, American military-backed caretaker government that resulted in the Iraqi people seeing the Americans as conquerors and not liberators.  The FAR WORSE of George W. Bush included establishing an environment that brought to power a candy ass, totally inept Marxist.

4.  No pardon for George W.

5.  Removal of Secret Service protection for Barack Hussein Obama and establishing a national lottery to see how long this MF lives.

6.  Fixing America's southern border by moving it to the Panama Canal.  Since Mexicans are so anxious to come to America, I'll bring America to them.

7.  Change the country's motto from IN GOD WE TRUST to WE LEAVE NO ONE BEHIND.  Progressives don't like the current motto, so in reaching across the aisle I want to give everyone a motto they can agree on, and progressives seem happy with WE LEAVE NO ONE BEHIND.  To live by our new motto, abortions will be outlawed so that unborn children are not left behind, turning corn into ethanol will be outlawed so the Hungry are not left behind, and DDT will be legal so children dying from malaria won't be left behind.  By living our new motto, we might find that God has some trust in us.

8.  The moment Iran builds a nuclear weapon, I will order a nuclear electromagnetic pulse (EMP) attack to destroy the country's electrical grid and their ability to make war.  To prevent any caualties, I will order the American military to mobilize to its fullest to provide food and potable water to Iran's people.  The EMP strike on North Korea happens the instant after my oath of office.

9.  I will super-glue a shirt on Vladimir Putin and super-glue Miley Cyrus into a burqa.

10.  After having enacted my platform in my first 90 days, I will resign and hand over the office of President of the United States to the honorable Mitt Romney, because in a fair and just world, he would be the actual president of the United States.

One More Time for Emphasis

MULTIPLE CHOICE:  What do you call a Beckel bobbing on the ocean?

A.  a cruise ship's lucky day

B.  a round mound of rebound

C.  poop from a sloop

D.  Godzilla's dinghy


Give up?  Actually, there's not much reason to differentiate between a Beckel on the water from a Beckel carrying water, which is what Beckel does on The Five.  He carries water for the Democrats.  Think of Bob "Bobbing" Beckel as a warning buoy.  He warns the other four of The Five when they're close to committing treason.  He has taught me a thing or two about treason, and he must be right as the other four have never pushed back when Beckel makes assertions about possible treason.  Beckel shows the same amount of wisdom on climate change as he does on treason.  But, beyond those two subjects, Beckel appears to be intellectually lazy and unprepared for discussing current events from 5 to 6.

So, after Beckel has taught The Five's audience everything about treason and climate change, he has ended his usefulness.  It would be time to move on to where he can be useful again.  He and Ed Shultz could serve a valuable service to Obamacare by cohosting a show on MSNBC.  It would make for a quick, efficient and cost-saving eye exam.  Optometrists would only have to say, "I'm going to change channels now.  Tell me when you see two fat-ass, blowhard imbeciles."