Just Your Typical Progressive Politician

Bob Menendez

The senator from the great state of "Joy-Z"

Went to Dominica to play with his toy.  See?

The "stickup" he had

Turned out very bad.

He assaulted little girls with his boy. See?

http://dailycaller.com/2013/01/25/emails-show-fbi-investigating-sen-bob-menendez-for-sleeping-with-underage-dominican-prostitutes/

Gold and the National Debt

2 interesting sites about gold facts are:

 

http://demonocracy.info/infographics/world/gold/gold.html

 

http://oceanservice.noaa.gov/facts/gold.html

 

 

According to the infograph from Demonocracy, in the history of mining gold there has been 166,500 metric tons - or tonnes - recovered.  (1 metric ton = 2,204.6 pounds)

 

According to the NOAA site, there is calculated to be around 20 million tons of gold dissolved in all the planet's saltwater.  For convenience, let's assume that there is 20 million metric tons.  (ton = 2,000 pounds, metric ton = 2,204.6 pounds)

 

Suppose Barack Obama, the super-genius that he is, found a way to extract every single atom of gold from the planet's oceans, and that it cost nothing to do so.  Could Obama pay off a national debt of 16.5 trillion dollars?

 

As I write this post, gold has a price of $1,670.00 per troy ounce, and there are 14.58 troy ounces per pound.

 

20,000,000 tonnes X 2,204 pounds per tonne  X 14.58 troy ounces per pound = 642,686,400,000 troy ounces

 

642,686,400,000 troy ounces X  $1,670 per ounce = $1,072,140,000,000,000

 

OR 1 quadrillion, 72 trillion and change

 

Barack Obama, the super-genius, thinks that not only has he paid off the national debt but he has over a quadrillion dollars to spend on combating global warming.  ( But, does he? ) Obama has the EPA sign contracts worth 500 trillion to start pumping the atmosphere's carbon-dioxide into the planet's crust.

 

Once again, Obama proved that he doesn't know the first thing about markets or economics.  While he was extracting gold from seawater, gold's abundance increased over  120 fold, from 166,500 metric tonnes to over 20 million metric tonnes.

 

Since gold's value is dependent on it's rarity, the price of gold fell precipitously when Obama began extracting it from seawater.  With gold's 120 fold increase, it's value plunged to $13.91 per troy ounce.

 

642,686,400,000 troy ounces X $13.91 per ounce = $8,939,767,824,000

 

Unfortunately for us and the super-genius, we still owe over 7.5 trillion dollars after taking all the gold out of the oceans.

 

There will never be a technology that can extract gold from seawater economically, and with the politicians we send to Washington, we will never pay off our national debt.  We are doomed to spiral into a blackhole of debt we will never climb out of.  If the cost of borrowing increases, we may have already crossed this blackhole's event horizon.

 

The Mayans were right.  We were just too engrossed on our smartphones to see the end of the world.

 

 

 

 

Feminine Wilds

Sir, a space trip was scheduled for Boxer.

But, first things first, we had to de-louse her.

We used lice shampoo

As we normally do

And now, nothing's alive to detox, sir!

Robbing TARP brought "Mad Max" disgrace

But an ethics committee granted her grace.

I'd be OK

To see crime pay

If she would just put a tarp over that face.

Nancy chats every day with apparitions

And feminist ghosts gave her a mission.

On the streets of Frisco

Do a nude disco

And men's eyes were put out of commission.

The high priestess sat down for a new 'do

After her stylist had contracted a bird flu.

No bird's virus she got

Though she inhaled a lot.

She just killed a chicken and made voodoo.

"Mitches", she tweeted the Right.

Dressed in pants three sizes too tight.

I'd wish for Beyonce

To become Satan's fiancee

But she'd lose to Michelle in a cat fight.

When Irish Eyes are Crying

Te’o  Te-ay-ay-o

Tide rolled me and me wan’ go home

Te, me say Te, me say Te, me say Te

Me say Te, me say Te-ay-ay-o

Tide rolled me and me wan’ go home.

Ran all night like me shoe had gum

Tide rolled me and me wan’ go home

Me can’t wait till the mornin’ come

Tide rolled me and me wan’ go home.

Come, Mister rally man, rally over Bama

Tide rolled me and me wan’ go home

Come, Mister rally man, rally over Bama

Tide rolled me and me wan’ go home.

It’s four PATs, five PATs, six PATs BUNCH!

Tide rolled me and me wan’ go home.

Four PATs, five PATs, six PATs CRUNCH!

Tide rolled me and me wan’ go home.

Firearm Fantasies And S'more

 

 

John Walker Lindh is his name.

"American Taliban" is his fame.

If I had a flintlock

I'd shoot his buttock

And treat his johnson the same.

 

 

 

 

 

The Media could not love Jay Carney.

His poodle yaps are effeminate blarney.

If I had ammo

I'd dress in camo

And blow his smirking puss to Killarney.

 

 

 

 

 

There once was a man named Al Gore

Who sold Current for millions and more.

What a hypocrite!

What a piece of shit!

I hope global warming makes him a s'more.

 

 

 

 

 

I know that he must be the Devil

Because conservative pain makes him revel.

Give me a laser gun;

I'll shoot his ass some,

Until his ears are at the floor's level.

 

 

 

Bad Limericks About Bad Politicians

Missile Defense under weary-eyed Hagel

Couldn't even hit a paralyzed seagull.

He was a good friend of Iran

And gave them Israel's plan

And he died when he choked on a bagel.

 

 

 

Obama's big stick needed a holder.

Eric's hands were warm; Joe's were colder.

But Eric's hands were curious

As they moved fast and furious

And the stick burned up and then smoldered.

 

 

 

Two White House men are practically twins.

Where one puss ends, the other begins.

While Donilon sports looser lips

That are primed to sink ships,

Wiser Daley slips out of the house of sins.

 

 

 

 

There once was a man named John Kerry

Who found the perfect heiress to marry.

He dated her dutch.

He loved money so much.

And ketchup replaced buying sherry.

 

 

 

 

 

Obama took a far-off trip to the East

And, while there, had an ogling feast.

When the news reached Michelle,

She said, "I'll send him to Hell."

But, being home, doesn't bother him in the least.

 

 

 

It's All About Optics

THE CENTER SQUARE APPEARS TO MOVE, BUT IT DOESN'T.






THE IMAGE APPEARS TO ROTATE, BUT IT DOESN'T.

THIS MAN APPEARS TO:  BE BRILLIANT, BE A LEADER, BE COMPASSIONATE, BE A CONSTITUTIONAL SCHOLAR, BE TRUTHFUL, AND  BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER.  BUT, IT'S THE BIGGEST ILLUSION IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND.

 

You Always have the Option

Of Overdosing on Brandy



Her name was Sonia, she was a "court girl"

With yellow nanners in her hair, a black robe sloped on her pair.

She didn't merengue or do the cha-cha

And, while she tried to be a star, did she really pass the Bar?

Sonia Sotomayor ruled in favor of a Muslim in New York State prison who claimed he was denied his Eid ul Fitr feast at the conclusion of Ramadan.

She ruled against the Christian Evangelical Green family, owners of Hobby Lobby, who will now face over one million dollar per day fines while their case is pending against Obamacare's infringement of their freedom of religion.

Meanwhile, every union - and bundler for Obama - received a waiver from the health care law's requirements.

2013: Year of the Snake

"RED AND YELLOW KILL A FELLOW."

"RED AND BLACK NICE TO JACKasses."

"YOU HAVE LISA JACKSON TO THANK,

  IF E15 GAS CORRODES YOUR TANK."

Better Predictions Than Mayans'

While Americans go over a cliff. Obama goes body surfing in Hawaii.  And gets chummy with a Great White.

Hillary Clinton quarterbacks the Fighting Irish in the National Championship against the Alabama Crimson Tide.  She'll sustain multiple concussions and won't testify before Congress.  AGAIN.

Andrew Brietbart returns from the grave and runs for president in 2016, with Greg Gutfeld as his VP.  Unfortunately, President Biden wins by invoking the memory of Barack Obama by tweaking Obama's slogan of Forward to Four-Letter Word.

The Seven Seals of End Times

SEAL ONE

 

A chubby little asshole named Psy (his last name should be Chotic) will make a video that one billion people will watch.  And all he does is what I did as a nine-year-old cowboy pretending to ride a horse.  I could have been a star!

 

 

 

 

SEAL TWO

 

An authoress will sell 60 million copies of 50 Shades of Grey about women being pleased by abusive men.  Just think how many sells she'd have with 50 Shades of Grey With Color Photos.

 

 

 

SEAL THREE

 

Quentin Tarantino will make the movie Django Unchained that uses the N-word 109 times.  The movie's runtime is 160 minutes, so you'll hear the word "nigger" about half as often as Obama says "I".  Tarantino is already working on a sequel starring Jamie Foxx who goes around killing all the white people.  Oops!  I think he's re-using the same storyline.

 

 

 

SEAL FOUR

 

People will want to flock to the magic mountain of Bugarach, France to survive the end of the world on 12/21/2012.  If people want to survive, they should stay clear of Walmart's and Victoria's Secret when the stores open their doors on Black Friday.  When people fight over sheer panties, that's a sure sign of imminent, catastrophic global warming.  Why, there's even video of a man beating a woman with a hockey stick over a pair of undies.  How prophetic is that?  Kudos to Michael Mann.

 

 

 

SEAL FIVE

 

Alan Grayson returns to the House of Representatives.  This is a sure sign the end is near.  Or maybe there's too many old farts from the North living in Florida.  Where is Obamacare's death panel when you need it?

 

 

 

SEAL SIX

Kim Il-Sung begot Kim Jong-il who begot Kim Jong-un.  When will loco Nokos learn that naming a son Kim never turns out well?  Naming a daughter Kim Kardashian doesn't turn out so well either.

 

 

 

SEAL SEVEN

A self-absorbed community organizer, who worked with the black communities in Chicago where black-on-black violence is the worst in the country, will take his successful skills to Washington DC and turn the whole country into the image of Chicago.  And then the world.  Then, will come the seven trumpets of end times.  The good news is that it won't happen on December 21st.

 

 

Subscribe Now!