The Four Whores of the Apocalypse

1. FALSE PIETY:  She claims to be Catholic, but she's a powerful enabler of the killing of preborns.

Matthew 7:21  "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.   Many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?   And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!'

2. POWER LUST:  She stood by her man because she lusts power more than Bubba lusts the flesh.

Matthew 19:24  "And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God."

In my book, the purchase of earthly riches through the currency of manipulative power over others is a greater sin than a rich man lusting for material goods.  Her manipulative power got four men killed in Benghazi.

3. SPIRITUAL LEPROSY:  Leprosy eats your flesh.  Spiritual leprosy eats your soul.  It infects you, innocently enough, by first asking for a hand-up.  Then, it asks for your hand and the creations of your individuality.  After all, you - she says - didn't create that on your own.  She eats away your soul until you no longer feel complete without the human collective.  You don't feel safe unless everyone is safe.  Congratulations, you are the newest convert to the Church of Black Liberation Theology.

4.  GODDESS OF BLT:  She'll kick your ass if you say BLT stands for bacon, lettuce, and tomato.  Lot's wife was turned into a pillar of salt for looking back at Sodom and Gomorrah.  The goddess of BLT will welcome you into Sodom and Gomorrah, but you have to give up salt.

10 Ways to Save Your Dog

FROM A HUNGRY OBAMA

1.  TURN POOCHIE INTO A PLANT.  DON'T USE ARUGULA, THOUGH.





2.  MAKE YOUR DOG A NAVY SEAL.  ON SECOND THOUGHT, OBAMA COULD KILL YOUR DOG FOR REASONS HAVING NOTHING TO DO WITH CULINARY.





3.  TURN YOUR DOG INTO SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN DEAD FOR 60 MILLION YEARS.  EVEN DOG-EATERS SHOULD LOSE THEIR APPETITE.





4.  SEMPER FIDO!



5.  USE ONLY AS A LAST RESORT.  OBAMA MAY HAVE DEVELOPED A TASTE FOR SCORPIONS GROWING UP IN INDONESIA.



6.  OBAMA WOULD NEVER EAT A RELATIVE FROM KENYA.



7.  BARACK, I AM YOUR FATHER.  ( THAT MAKES 3 CONTENDERS. )





8.  ANY COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE "CORPSMAN" PROBABLY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A MILITARY JET LOOKS LIKE.



9.  TOUGH LUCK, OBAMA!  JAWS BEAT YOU TO IT.

10.  HIDE YOUR DOG IN PLAIN SIGHT.  THE ONLY DROOLING OBAMA WILL DO WILL BE OVER THE PRIME MINISTER OF THAILAND.

Walk Like An Egyptian

What's the difference betwee these two men?

One treats women as just objects.  The other treats women as sex objects.  The proof:  Obama told women to vote their vaginas.  Obama flirted with the prime minister of Thailand like a dog in heat.  And Morsi is Muslim, proof enough.

One openly embraces Sharia law.  The other gives it a wink and a nod.  The proof:  Obama hawked the Arab Spring more than Colgate-Palmolive hawked Irish Spring soap.  And Morsi is Muslim, proof enough.

One presides over an impoverished country.  The other is working on it.

One is screwing Americans out of billions of dollars.  The other, trillions.

One wants to drive the Israelis into the sea.  The other will lower the sea levels to make it a tiny bit harder, but still doable.

One will kill anyone who crosses his country's borders illegally.  The other thinks borders is a place that sells his books, and therefore everyone is welcome.

One grabbed more presidential power and the people rioted and burned the Muslim Brotherhood offices.  The other grabbed more presidential power and the people re-elected him.

AMERICANS SHOULD WALK LIKE AN EGYPTIAN INSTEAD OF GOOSESTEPPING.

 

 

All Aboard the Rice & Gravy Train

UNCLE BENGHAZI'S PERVERTED RICE

THE PERFECT STAPLE FOR PEOPLE ON THE GOVERNMENT DOLE.

Let Justice Be Done

Enzo Boschi, president of the Institute of Geophysics and Volcanology in Italy, was sentenced with six other scientists to six years in prison for manslaughter because they failed to predict a 2009 earthquake that killed more than 300 people.  NOW YOU KNOW THAT AMANDA KNOX WAS RAILROADED!

Ryan Holle is serving a life sentence in Florida for felony murder.  His crime was loaning his car to a friend.  NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED.

These two established life-threatening policies for American government personnel in Libya, did nothing to safeguard the lives of embassy personnel after consulate building bombings and attacks on the British and Red Cross, and turned a deaf ear to pleas from Ambassador Stevens for more security.  Bread and water is too good for these two.  They should live on crap sandwiches and the underarm perspiration of GITMO detainees for the rest of their lives.  When they beg for water, give it to them on a board!

 

Felony Murderers

A Man's Got To Know His Limitations

Look!  You can keep the Nobel Peace Prize but you have to give Mitt the pretty airplane.

White House Black Liberation Theology Prayer

Dear heavenly Father, you have blessed me with a 10 point surge in Florida and poll leads in all swing states.  If it is your will, I pray for Joe's swift recovery from that freak accident he had in Tampa outside the RNC convention prior to this wonderful surge.  Please soothe the ache of the Secret Service agents who did their utmost to stop Joe from falling under the Romney bus.  May Joe quickly return to this great house in better spirit and health, with greater wisdom and forethought, and with incomparable oratory skills.  Barring that, I humbly beseech you to wait until after November 6th to do anything for him.  Amen.

The Farce of a Carbon Dragon

The protagonist of "Global Warming", a fine theatrical farce

Is sonorous Al Gore or some other comic tree-hugging arse.

They play the lead role with sorrow, speaking words of utter gloom

Because the plot portends imminent, undeniable global doom.

 

William Shakespeare, Bard of Avon, did say all the world's a stage

And "Global Warming" has become a ubiquitous firestorm rage.

Progressive politicians are the worst actors in this play.

They ad-lib economic destruction and think, dumbly, it's OK.

 

The plot includes a carboniferous fire-breathing dragon

That the adolescent Barack wants to slay, then parade in his wagon.

"Look what I've bravely done for the polar beers!" he yells,

Too immature to realize video text on his teleprompter fails.

 

He thinks a grand beer summit will happen on his lawn

Where he can call police stupid and the Media will fawn.

NBC, ABC, and CBS videotaping the summit on the grass

Will vie in desperation to be first to kiss his ass.

 

Then there's Nancy Pelosi as the vile, hideous Ogre of the West.

Compared to other politicians, her acting is some of the best.

She monologues that a 4-star general stepped outside the "line of command". [sic]

She calls CIA spooks liars.  Encore!  The play spreads throughout the land.

 

In one scene, Charles instructs the class while the Designer wears a cap.

So many desks are empty because pro-life is just Christian pap.

Alas, poor Yorick is never known at all, infinitely less than well.

Get your tickets for the sequel.  We'll all watch it down in Hell.

 

 

 

 

Amphibians and Fabians

Frogs croak on littoral logs

And progs croak on blogs.

A bull bellows a romantic hit

While the prog has a virtual fit.

 

Progs praise Margaret and George B. Shaw.

Shaw, in celluloid, made the eternal faux pas.

Just like Margaret,

Shaw wanted to exterminate the weak.

Progressives should be ephemeral

And croak in a week.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Proctological Gymnastics

The DYNAMIC DUOdenum, Butt Man and Colon Polyp, like to play with their balls before putting them in their holes.

Barney the Hiney Sore taught them this exercise.



CAUTION:  Do not try this gymnastics move at home or your hiney will be sore too!

We Want a DUOver



THE DYNAMIC DUOdenum
WHERE SHIT BEGINS