Dr. Chelsea to the E.R., Dr. Chelsea to the E.R.

Chelsea Clinton, who can net up to $75K per speech, said to listeners during one speech, "I am obsessed with diarrhea".  If so, then she's needed stat in Arizona where there has been an outbreak of diarrhea that has sickened over 100 people.  Being obsessed with the subject of diarrhea, Chelsea must have a thorough knowledge on "the runs". 

To be obsessed with diarrhea sounds freaky even for a Clinton.  The definition of obsess is:  To dominate or preoccupy the thoughts, feelings or desires of a person, or, beset, trouble or haunt persistently or abnormally.

 

Chelsea's mind is either ruled over (dominated) by diarrhea or she is haunted persistently by diarrhea.  Being raised in the Clinton household, I can see how she is haunted by shit flying.

Obama Lied. Webster Died.

Quid pro quo.  This for that.  The money don't flow till our prisoners go. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines ransom as "a consideration paid or demanded for the release of someone or something from captivity".  Iran was paid $400 million in cash contingent upon the release of four Americans.  That was $100 million in ransom per American hostage.

Obama stood at the podium with a deriding smirk on his face.  It said, "Why am I here explaining to the corn-pones the obvious when I could be playing golf in Martha's Vineyard?"  This wasn't a quid pro quo, this was a quid pro quid and a quo pro quo, a this for this and a that for that.  The $400 million was paid to settle an old weapons deal.  The hostages were released because Obama and the Iranians are getting along so well.

We corn-pones don't deal in the recondite - the very profound, but we know bullshit when we hear it.  Obama doesn't know bullshit when he steps in it.  For him, practice doesn't make perfect:  Shovel Ready Jobs, Obamacare, Russian Reset, Arab Spring, Crimea, Syria, Iraq, Libya, Iran Deal.  He can't even plant a Ficus tree without it dying.  On second thought, being wrong all the time is perfect.

The American public knows and America's enemies know that taking Americans hostage is now good business.

Now, for the other shoe to drop.  Obama has been caught in his deceit by saying the $400 million was absolutely not a ransom.  Next should be being caught lying about the $400 million had to be paid in cash.  That lie will come to light when we learn how the other $1.3 billion was paid to Iran.

The Obama administration and Iran agreed to a settlement of $1.7 billion for a weapons deal that dates back to the Shah of Iran.  (At least that is what Obama claims.)  That $1.7 billion has all been paid.  If the remaining $1.3 billion was paid in a wire transfer instead of cash, then Obama will have been caught again in a lie.  For the corn-pones, he will also have been caught laundering $400 million for Hezbollah and Hamas.

Will Obama care?  Probably not.  He's not running for a third term.  The "adolescent" rushed to and walked the Jersey shore carrying a balloon, or was that Chris Christie, after hurricane Sandy.  And that probably insured his victory.  Now, Louisiana is under water and he plays golf at Martha's Vineyard.

Life is good. For the oligarchs.

ANSWER: Drawn and Quartered

Question:  What is the first step in cutting political whore Hillary Clinton into equal-sized eighths?

My definition of a political whore is:  A female politician that sells her votes and influence for money.  By that definition, Hillary Clinton is the queen of Washington's "red light district".  Now, because the red light district might not be familiar to all foreign billionaires coming to Washington to buy favors, the top of the Washington Monument should be painted red and renamed the Clinton Monument to easily identify the epicenter of the district.  George wouldn't mind that since his America is dead, and Bill would gush over the honor.

What a Nightmare!

"Joe...Joe, listen to me."

"What?  I'm hearing voices now!"

"Joe, I'm Subliminal Joe.  Or, as I like to call myself, the smart Joe.  I'm part of your subconscious, and you have to listen to me if you want to live."

 "I'm listening."

"Joe, you're not awake.  You're asleep and you're having a nightmare.  And, if the nightmare continues on it's present course, you'll have a massive coronary."

"Well Mr. Smart Joe, even if I was asleep experiencing a nightmare - WHICH I'M NOT - it wouldn't cause me to have a heart attack.  If you are me, you know I've had nightmares where I've found myself back in school and completely naked.  And I've had nightmares where I'm being chased by a T. Rex and I'm running as if I'm waist-deep in molasses.  Those nightmares didn't harm me, and neither will this one.  If, as you say, I'm asleep having a nightmare.  I don't believe that."

"In the past when you had nightmares, you weren't 65 years old.  You weren't thirty pounds overweight and with sleep apnea.  And you didn't have a blood pressure exceeding 200 over 100, and currently climbing due to your stress.  I have to convince you that you are asleep.  And if I can't change the course of your nightmare, you'll have a heart attack on November 8th, which is only ten minutes from now in real time."

"Joe, using your logic, is it conceivable that the American electorate has become so debased in morals and values that Hillary Clinton would be winning handily in every swing state?"

"Using logic, that is exactly the conclusion I've reached.  Morality in America is in free-fall.  Just last week, it was on the internet that a woman was going to pay for an abortion by selling the baby's organs on Ebay."

"That's part of your nightmare.  It isn't real!"

"You're telling me that morality isn't in free-fall.  And babies's organs aren't being sold for profit?"

"No, I am saying that a woman selling her baby's organs on Ebay is not reality.  You've dreamt it.  OK, let me ask you this:  Is it logical that the Republican party nominated Donald Trump for president?"

"No, it wouldn't be, except for the Zika pandemic of the 1990s.  All of those poor babies with normal brains for empathy, compassion and IQs, but lacking the ability to discriminate between good and bad candidates, are now voting-age Republicans."

"No, no, no!  That's part of your nightmare.  There was no Zika outbreak in the 1990s."

"OK, Joe. let me try this tack.  In the past year, can you remember taking a bath, brushing your teeth, or shaving?"

"Hmmm...that's strange.  I don't remember doing any of those things for a long, long time."

"So, you must be one musky, bearded hobo."

"I must look and smell terrible!"

"Come look in this mirror."

"Where did that mirror come from?"

"Never mind, just come look in the mirror."

"My God.  My God!  I look like Cary Grant.  This is great.  This is fantastic."

"Now, do you really look like Cary Grant?"

"Well, maybe on my best days."

"OK, Cary.  Stop ogling your face and look at your arms."

"What the shi...!  I've shaved my arms.  And I've got tats!  I'm a damn metrosexual!"

"Now, would the real Joe do that?"

"Absolutely not!  Oh my God, I am dreaming.  And my subconscious is trying to save me.  What can I do?"

"Knowing that you're having a nightmare can give you the ability to control it.  You can turn the nightmare of a Hillary Clinton presidency into a pleasing dream and lower your blood pressure."

"You mean I can fly with Bill Clinton and his lecherous pals to Fantasy island?"

"No, you moron.  I mean instead of you suffering a massive coronary at the exact moment Hillary Clinton shatters the "glass ceiling" you can change the course of the nightmare such that, at the very moment Hillary Clinton is about to break the glass ceiling, she suffers a massive stroke.  And for the rest of her life, Bill never again refers to her as Hilla the Hun, but does like to call her Vegetable Lasagna."

Charge of the Light (In Head) Brigades



TRUMPETERS




NEVER-TRUMPS

 

 

 

In the end, even the Cossacks die.

Hillary's Short-Circuiting Brain

Obama Letting Un-vetted Muslims Into Country

Means Five-Year-Old Girls Are Sodomized

Muslim immigrant boys anally and orally sodomized a five-year-old girl in Twin Falls, Idaho.  Perhaps the boys refrained from penetrating her vagina because she hadn't been genitally mutilated, and thus, they thought she might have enjoyed it.

I can understand the fascination with Pokeman Go.  Sometimes, I'd like to stick my head up my ass, rather than face the real world.  Yes, there are those moments I'd like to be a Democrat.

A Democrat believes Barack Obama when he says there was no $400 million ransom paid to Iran for the release of American hostages.  The American hostage that said they were held at the airport for hours after their plane was ready for takeoff because another plane had to land first (with $400 million in cash) is just lying.

A Democrat believes Barack Obama when he says a wire transfer of the money couldn't be done.  That's true.  If a wire transfer of the money had been done, how could Iran subsequently have hidden the wire transfer of the funds to Hezbollah and Hamas?  The shipment of "cold, hard cash" to terrorists is far easier to hide.

A Democrat believes that Republicans in Congress are blocking Zika funding.  Harry Reid and Chuck Schumer never blocked passage of a bill because it didn't specify funds for Planned Parenthood.

A Democrat believes Hillary Clinton.

Those moments when I think I might like being a Democrat?  They pass.

Time to Hop Aboard the LOCOmotive

Willy Billy

Watch it now!  Watch it now!

Here it comes.  Here it comes.

Had a Cuban gold band

On a big cigar

Could have used his willy

But, it wouldn't go far.

Willy Bill-Laaa, Willy Billy

Willy Billy, Willy Billy, Willy Billy

He could treat a woman

Like a humidor.

Bleed her from her lips

And nail her on the floor.

Willy Bill-Laaa, Willy Billy

Willy Billy, Willy Billy, Willy Billy

Watch it now!  Watch it now!

Hilly covered Billy

For the things he done.

Never was a crime

Cause he didn't use a gun.

Willy Bill-Laaa, Willy Billy

Willy Billy, Willy Billy, Willy Billy

How Much is That Darky in the Window?

I'm not a racist.  I'm just appropriating the bigotry of David Duke to make a point.  It's not appropriate (ah-pro-pree-it) to appropriate (ah-pro-pree-ate) in Obama World or Hill Country, so I'll make my point quickly.

If progressives had zero political clout, they'd be the most hilarious and entertaining animals on the planet.  Instead of going to Denali national park in Alaska to see grizzlies or sail the Pacific to see whales, you could stay home and watch "Wild Kingdom" on MSNBC.  You could watch an episode of rump-rubbing vegan apes throwing post-digested bananas and arugula because some white male had an Afro hairdo and was singing hip-hop music.  How dare whitey appropriate black culture!   Then, later in the show, the apes would start throwing post-digested bananas and arugula because some state's governor was trying to stop people with male genitalia from using a woman's bathroom.  You see, the rump-rubbing apes think it a sin for a white to appropriate hip-hop, but they find it virtuous for a male to appropriate the female gender.  Methinks Zika has been a hidden pandemic in America for decades.  Democrats, in their wisdom, should consider spreading Zika in America because microcephaly would reduce the costs of abortions and women's health would be improved by having small-headed preborns.

How much is that darky in the window, the one with the waggly tales of perfidy that move this way and that way in the political winds?  Well, he's going to be worth close to $20 trillion when he leaves office.  In 2008, he called George W. Bush unpatriotic for adding $4 trillion to the national debt.  Look at a chart that shows a steep increase in the rate of the national debt since Obama took office:

Barack Obama will have increased the national debt by $10 trillion.  If Bush was unpatriotic, then Obama is Julius Rosenberg.

A Childish Oaf is Messing With Oaths

"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

When Barack Obama swore an oath to execute the office of President of the United States, he must have thought that meant to kill it.  When he stated that he would, to the best of his ability, defend the Constitution, either his abilities are completely lacking - I can buy that -  or he thought to preserve and protect the Constitution meant to take care of the parchment it was written on.  So far, if we can trust the media, he hasn't taken a black crayon to Article I (legislative powers) or the 2nd Amendment.

What infantile Obama hasn't done with crayon, he's done with malfeasance.  Malfeasance is "the performance by a public official of an act that is legally unjustified, harmful or contrary to law".  Change the definition to the plural "acts" and it is the perfect description of Obama's presidency.  Jurisprudence under Barack Obama is not a "philosophy of law", it is the absence of law.

One of the newest revelations of Obama's malfeasance is his administration's change to the Oath of Allegiance for naturalized American citizens.  In July 2015, the oath was changed to remove the pledge that new citizens will defend the country they supposedly want to become a part of.  Obama and John Kerry would say that the pledge to defend one's country is "so last century".  Now, if there was a pledge to risk one's life in defense of the European Union, global elites and Islam, Obama would be all in.

The Warren Commission ...Of Unethical Acts

"Entangled Limericks"

True native she is 'cause of "high cheeks".

They lift up her mouth such that it leaks.

If Cherokee she were,

She'd be "Running Mad Cur"

'Cause she foams at the mouth whenever she speaks.

There once was a woman from Mass.

Who spoke from both sides of her ass.

Her mouth went to foamin'

When words were ah formin'

So, for her mouth, her ass had to pass.

The reason she is so damned ugly

Is, on her neck, her ass fits quite snugly.

With "cheeks" bottom to top

She's Cherokee non-stop

Which got her a professorship she touts smugly.

Her ass says, "You didn't build that!"

She offers no proof, not even one stat.

For libs, it don't matter

And what's even sadder

Their heads are on what they too sat.