The legend lives on from his commie Ma on down
Of the abortion doc they called Barack Obama.
Now Barack, it is said, never got out of his bed
Until the great ball in the sky was real shiny.
With a load of irons for twenty-six rounds or more
His putter swings would leave the holes empty.
The words he would mutter were only fit for the gutter
Shocking the Gals of Transgender who golfed early.
Edmund Fitzgerald was the pride of the proctology side.
He could do a complete exam in half an hour.
As doctors go, he was quicker than most
And his plans of action were well-reasoned.
His hands left no germs. They were supple but still firm.
His office was fully staffed in Cleveland.
Late at nights, well past when his wife’s dinner bell rang,
You’d still find him with colons he’d been feelin’.
Rahm Emanuel in Chicago was a tattle-tale clown
Who claimed Barack could beat Edmund with his wailing.
The three men knew, as any internist did too,
A preborn’s for killin’; a colon’s for healing.
The wagers came late and the contest had to wait
Until the Gals of Transgender got their stash in.
When afternoon came they had set the game
In the face of a hurricane of betting.
The rules had been set that Obama had to let
The hospital vote for his coloscopy patient.
Fitzgerald was shrewd and as a Democrat approved
Of stuffing the ballot box with his selection.
He had the Mexican landscape crew and his dead mother too
Vote for the physician’s assistant, Moe Vender.
When the votes were all cast and the decision announced,
It was sweet music for Edmund Fitzgerald.
How shall it be said that Moe Vender was large?
If one chose, one might picture a coal barge.
Now take that view and multiply it by two
And one begins to see the challenge Barack was facing.
Moe ate 12 eggs for breakfast and 12 burgers for lunch.
Between, racks of lamb were a nibble for brunch.
A serving of veggies was Jelly Belly orange slices
Or apple cobbler with cinnamon spices.
Moe was put under without a hitch or a blunder
And a 5 horsepower pump began the work of distending.
Barack started examining the polyps deep within,
When the winds of Moe Vender came early.
Nurse Huron rolls as Moe Vender blows
And Barack grabs a patch of Moe’s back hair.
With 5 minutes left, he had to be dexterous and swift
If he’s going to beat the time of Edmund Fitzgerald.
It was quite a feat hanging on to Moe’s feet
As he held the fiber-optic camera with his bare teeth.
Obama turned blue and his nurses did too
When the gales from Moe Vender came early.
In a musty old hall in Chicago they prayed
In the Black Liberation Cathedral.
The church bell chimed till it rang 29 times
For each second Barack lost to Edmund Fitzgerald.
The legend lives on from his commie Ma on down
Of the abortion doc they called Barack Obama.
Satan, it’s said, never gives up his dead
Especially when they killed children so early.