All Aboard the Rice & Gravy Train

UNCLE BENGHAZI'S PERVERTED RICE

THE PERFECT STAPLE FOR PEOPLE ON THE GOVERNMENT DOLE.

Let Justice Be Done

Enzo Boschi, president of the Institute of Geophysics and Volcanology in Italy, was sentenced with six other scientists to six years in prison for manslaughter because they failed to predict a 2009 earthquake that killed more than 300 people.  NOW YOU KNOW THAT AMANDA KNOX WAS RAILROADED!

Ryan Holle is serving a life sentence in Florida for felony murder.  His crime was loaning his car to a friend.  NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED.

These two established life-threatening policies for American government personnel in Libya, did nothing to safeguard the lives of embassy personnel after consulate building bombings and attacks on the British and Red Cross, and turned a deaf ear to pleas from Ambassador Stevens for more security.  Bread and water is too good for these two.  They should live on crap sandwiches and the underarm perspiration of GITMO detainees for the rest of their lives.  When they beg for water, give it to them on a board!

 

Felony Murderers

A Man's Got To Know His Limitations

Look!  You can keep the Nobel Peace Prize but you have to give Mitt the pretty airplane.

White House Black Liberation Theology Prayer

Dear heavenly Father, you have blessed me with a 10 point surge in Florida and poll leads in all swing states.  If it is your will, I pray for Joe's swift recovery from that freak accident he had in Tampa outside the RNC convention prior to this wonderful surge.  Please soothe the ache of the Secret Service agents who did their utmost to stop Joe from falling under the Romney bus.  May Joe quickly return to this great house in better spirit and health, with greater wisdom and forethought, and with incomparable oratory skills.  Barring that, I humbly beseech you to wait until after November 6th to do anything for him.  Amen.

The Farce of a Carbon Dragon

The protagonist of "Global Warming", a fine theatrical farce

Is sonorous Al Gore or some other comic tree-hugging arse.

They play the lead role with sorrow, speaking words of utter gloom

Because the plot portends imminent, undeniable global doom.

 

William Shakespeare, Bard of Avon, did say all the world's a stage

And "Global Warming" has become a ubiquitous firestorm rage.

Progressive politicians are the worst actors in this play.

They ad-lib economic destruction and think, dumbly, it's OK.

 

The plot includes a carboniferous fire-breathing dragon

That the adolescent Barack wants to slay, then parade in his wagon.

"Look what I've bravely done for the polar beers!" he yells,

Too immature to realize video text on his teleprompter fails.

 

He thinks a grand beer summit will happen on his lawn

Where he can call police stupid and the Media will fawn.

NBC, ABC, and CBS videotaping the summit on the grass

Will vie in desperation to be first to kiss his ass.

 

Then there's Nancy Pelosi as the vile, hideous Ogre of the West.

Compared to other politicians, her acting is some of the best.

She monologues that a 4-star general stepped outside the "line of command". [sic]

She calls CIA spooks liars.  Encore!  The play spreads throughout the land.

 

In one scene, Charles instructs the class while the Designer wears a cap.

So many desks are empty because pro-life is just Christian pap.

Alas, poor Yorick is never known at all, infinitely less than well.

Get your tickets for the sequel.  We'll all watch it down in Hell.

 

 

 

 

Amphibians and Fabians

Frogs croak on littoral logs

And progs croak on blogs.

A bull bellows a romantic hit

While the prog has a virtual fit.

 

Progs praise Margaret and George B. Shaw.

Shaw, in celluloid, made the eternal faux pas.

Just like Margaret,

Shaw wanted to exterminate the weak.

Progressives should be ephemeral

And croak in a week.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Proctological Gymnastics

The DYNAMIC DUOdenum, Butt Man and Colon Polyp, like to play with their balls before putting them in their holes.

Barney the Hiney Sore taught them this exercise.



CAUTION:  Do not try this gymnastics move at home or your hiney will be sore too!

We Want a DUOver



THE DYNAMIC DUOdenum
WHERE SHIT BEGINS



The Postulates of the State

Postulate 1.  Nothing greater than the State exists. 

Postulate 2.  Since nothing greater than the State exists, the State is infallible.

Postulate 3.  The State has proven the truth of Darwinism.  The science cannot be questioned.  You, the individual, are the outcome of chaotic, random and mindless natural processes.  There is no God.  Ergo, there are no God-given rights.  You were not intended to be here.

Postulate 4.  The State has proven the truth of manmade climate change.  The science cannot be questioned.  You, the individual,  by just existing are a dangerous polluter.  It is in your nature.  You breath in priceless oxygen and breath out planet-burning carbon dioxide.  You digest the waving grains and create the greenhouse gas methane.  It would be better if you were not here.

Postulate 5.  The State accepts as fundamental truths that you were not intended to be here and it would be better if you were not here.  But, since you are here: You can make yourself useful by getting your ass to work serving the State.

The Great Blue Uprising

 

In the worst slanders ever done to native Americans, I give you:





Obama Say

 

Forget Confuscius, there's a new wiser man in town.

Obama say capitalist is doctor who cuts off feet so you not run to save tonsils.

Obama say money is root of all evil.  I will make you most righteous people on planet.

Obama say man cannot live by whole wheat bread alone.  Michelle will allow you carrot sticks too.

Obama say phrase "campaign stop" very inscrutible.

Obama say flipping bird at Bush worth more than 2 swing states in hand.

Obama say if at first you don't succeed, lie lie again.

Obama say there more than one way to skin cat, but I'd rather eat dog.

Obama say a Holder good place to carry an extra pair of super large cojones.

Obama say in Dreams From My Father white folk's greed runs a world in need.  (He really does)

Obama say Michelle, Valerie Jarrett and Elizabeth Warren tossed Churchill because his bust prettier than theirs.

Obama say he need 4 more years to find Oval Office and go to work.  He only find circular room so far.