Dribs and Drabs

Let's spend an appropriate amount of time discussing Obama's international successes.

 

Now, let's move on to other topics.

 

What say we brainstorm Obama's successes in job creation and the economy?

 

Whoa!  Let's quickly move on.  You don't want to keep your nuerons in stasis for too long.  At our ages, it's hard to crank them back up.

 

Let's discuss the benefits of Obamacare.

 

We've worn that topic out, so let's move on.

 

Now, let's have an in-depth discussion on how Obama has stayed true to his oath of office.  To help you out, here is the presidential oath of office:

 

 “I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

 

We've beat that horse to death, so it's time to move on.

 

Now, I'd like to spend some time pointing out the differences between a Democrat voter and a zombie.

 

OK, then.  We're almost through.

 

Let's end with a discussion about Obama winning the Nobel peace prize.

 

You know, not every dipshit can win a Nobel peace prize.  Many times, it's the dippiest shit on the planet that wins it.

 

Yasser Arafat won one.  Yasser thought the Third Reich translated into Arabic as the "Third Right", which was killing Jews with impunity.  Yasser's First Right was wearing a tablecloth on his head, and his Second Right was making a woman use her left hand to clean his bottom.  When Obama cuts and runs in Afghanistan, Afghan men will be able to exercise their Second Right once more.  Obama will show their Second Right more respect than he shows ours.

 

Al Gore shared the Nobel peace prize with the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC).  They won for "their efforts to build up and disseminate greater knowledge about man-made climate change, and to lay the foundations for the measures that are needed to counteract such change".  But, these cerebrally-challenged knuckle-draggers spend more time hiding knowledge that repudiates their claims of man-made climate change.  If there was any justice in this progressive world - a topic requiring as much ink as Obama successes - then the Audubon Society would put out Wanted Dead or Alive posters on these Nobel recipients for backing solar collectors that fry birds to a crisp and wind turbines that shred birds and bats to pieces, including bald eagles.

 

Jimmy Carter also won a Nobel peace prize.  Jimmy kissed the cheeks of Leonid Brezhnev.  All four.  Jimmy remained hostage in the White House, in solidarity with the Iranian hostages that stayed in captivity for 444 days during his presidency.  Jimmy has gone to North Korea multiple times to do whatever it is he does.  If he put some bling in his nose, ears and mouth, you couldn't tell the difference between his diplomatic skills and Dennis Rodman's.  But, Jimmy isn't without some redeeming qualities.  He works hard with Habitat for Humanity and he's a pretty good carpenter, except he doesn't like the term "striking nails".  He prefers to think of it as "accomodating them".  You know, I never understood what Jimmy meant when he said he was born again.  Now, I think he meant he was born again in Hawaii.

 

Or was it Kenya?