Colin Kaepernick's Next Jersey?

When the miner Forty-niner

Soon began to speak and whine,

Thought he oughter "jine" the slaughter

And cut the head off Clementine.

The Ultimate in Stains and Odors Removal

 

If it's good enough for the White House, it's good enough for your house.

 

 
 
 
 

Read the testimonials:

"Bleach Bit(ch) removes the stains and odors from blue dresses!"

Bill Clinton

 

 

 

"Before Bleach Bit(ch), I had to use industrial chlorine to clean stains from my country.  That left a faint red mark.  With Bleach Bit(ch), I've cleaned up my whole country and no red marks!"

Bashar al Assad

 

 

"Nothing cleans infidel's blood from your knife better than Bleach Bit(ch), and I thought the other product I had been using for 8 years was great!"

ISIS, ISIL, DASH or "just people comparable to Catholics that murder(Pope Francis)"

 

 



"We were once afraid the our business model might be ridiculed by the public.  Being both a provider of women's health and a meat market might have been frowned upon.  Bleach Bit(ch) has proven that the public has progressed to where we can now expand and open Lampshades-R-Us."

Cecile Richard, CEO of Planned Parenthood

 

 

 

Not Exactly 99 Beers on the Wall

"My kingdom for a penny!"
Obama still owes Iran 13 cents.

99,999,999 LIES FROM HIS MAW.  99,999,999 LIES.  HE FAKES HIS ACT OF STATING A FACT.  100 MILLION LIES FROM HIS MAW.

POTUS should stand for President Obama Tells Us Shit.  He is a brazen liar.  His latest, undeniable lie was that payments to Iran could not be wire transferred.  Thirteen wire transfers of $99,999,999.99 each were made to Iran.

Obama is guilty of high crimes and misdemeanors and should be impeached.

The question of impeachment turns on the meaning of the phrase in the Constitution at Art. II Sec. 4, "Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors". I [Jon Roland, Constitution Society]  have carefully researched the origin of the phrase "high crimes and misdemeanors" and its meaning to the Framers, and found that the key to understanding it is the word "high". It does not mean "more serious". It refers to those punishable offenses that only apply to high persons, that is, to public officials, those who, because of their official status, are under special obligations that ordinary persons are not under, and which could not be meaningfully applied or justly punished if committed by ordinary persons.

Under the English common law tradition, crimes were defined through a legacy of court proceedings and decisions that punished offenses not because they were prohibited by statutes, but because they offended the sense of justice of the people and the court. Whether an offense could qualify as punishable depended largely on the obligations of the offender, and the obligations of a person holding a high position meant that some actions, or inactions, could be punishable if he did them, even though they would not be if done by an ordinary person.  Offenses of this kind survive today in the Uniform Code of Military Justice. It recognizes as punishable offenses such things as perjury of oath, refusal to obey orders, abuse of authority, dereliction of duty, failure to supervise, moral turpitude, and conduct unbecoming. These would not be offenses if committed by a civilian with no official position, but they are offenses which bear on the subject's fitness for the duties he holds, which he is bound by oath or affirmation to perform.

When Barack Obama took his oath of office, that meant he was perpetually under oath during his duties as President, and subject to perjury.  The same is true for Hillary Clinton.  Under the UCMJ, a soldier, sailor or marine would face court marshal and possible prison for perjury of oath, abuse of authority, failure to supervise, moral turpitude (shameful, base character), and conduct unbecoming.  There is considerable evidence that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are guilty of the offenses listed in italics above.  During an impeachment that should take place for both of them, it might be learned there was no failure to supervise and they were highly aware and orchestrated much the corruption in their administrations.  

Idiocracy Comes to America

The movie Idiocracy, which I have never seen, is about an average-intelligence man being put into suspended animation for centuries and then awakening in a world of idiots where he is now a genius.

If I were to borrow the theme of Idiocracy for the make-believe movie Idiocy, I'd have the inventor, political scientist, builder, polyhistor Thomas Jefferson come back to life in present-day America.  [polyhistor - a person of great and varied learning.]  Jefferson would listen to an Obama speech and say afterward, "You know, we founding fathers were going to free the slaves when they were ready.  They still aren't ready."  

Idiocy is not a politically-correct movie, so it will never be made.  It suggests that the slave trade was partly a Mendelian genetics experiment, using people instead of peas.  Slave selection was based on choosing brawn over brains.  Then, breeding the "pea-brains" developed the right kind of offspring.

Today's offspring run like the wind, jump like gazelle, and dominate professional sports, but they vote almost 100% Democrat decade after decade.  And decade after decade, the Democrats they help elect insure their continued poverty and joblessness.  This situation is called The Great Society by Democrat politicians.  It's great because they stay in power.

According to the movie, Africans avoided slavery by either being somewhat smart or being puny weaklings.  There were even Africans that avoided slavery by being somewhat smart and puny weaklings.  One such African was Kunta Kinte.  Like many of the somewhat smart Africans, he converted to Islam to appease the Muslim slave traders.  He also changed his name to Mohammed Hussein Obama and began selling out his brothers and sisters.  One of Mohammed's descendants doesn't run like the wind, jump like a gazelle, and can't even master hitting a little white ball straight, but he does an excellent job selling out his brothers and sisters - on both sides of his family tree. 

The plot of Idiocy is just too stupid for the movie to make any money should it be made.  Part of the movie script involves a white, "no ways tarred" former Secretary of State throwing one of the country's most renowned black men under the bus to save her political bacon, and she still manages to get over 90% of the black vote.  Now, that is just too stupid to believe.

Dr. Chelsea to the E.R., Dr. Chelsea to the E.R.

Chelsea Clinton, who can net up to $75K per speech, said to listeners during one speech, "I am obsessed with diarrhea".  If so, then she's needed stat in Arizona where there has been an outbreak of diarrhea that has sickened over 100 people.  Being obsessed with the subject of diarrhea, Chelsea must have a thorough knowledge on "the runs". 

To be obsessed with diarrhea sounds freaky even for a Clinton.  The definition of obsess is:  To dominate or preoccupy the thoughts, feelings or desires of a person, or, beset, trouble or haunt persistently or abnormally.

 

Chelsea's mind is either ruled over (dominated) by diarrhea or she is haunted persistently by diarrhea.  Being raised in the Clinton household, I can see how she is haunted by shit flying.

Obama Lied. Webster Died.

Quid pro quo.  This for that.  The money don't flow till our prisoners go. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines ransom as "a consideration paid or demanded for the release of someone or something from captivity".  Iran was paid $400 million in cash contingent upon the release of four Americans.  That was $100 million in ransom per American hostage.

Obama stood at the podium with a deriding smirk on his face.  It said, "Why am I here explaining to the corn-pones the obvious when I could be playing golf in Martha's Vineyard?"  This wasn't a quid pro quo, this was a quid pro quid and a quo pro quo, a this for this and a that for that.  The $400 million was paid to settle an old weapons deal.  The hostages were released because Obama and the Iranians are getting along so well.

We corn-pones don't deal in the recondite - the very profound, but we know bullshit when we hear it.  Obama doesn't know bullshit when he steps in it.  For him, practice doesn't make perfect:  Shovel Ready Jobs, Obamacare, Russian Reset, Arab Spring, Crimea, Syria, Iraq, Libya, Iran Deal.  He can't even plant a Ficus tree without it dying.  On second thought, being wrong all the time is perfect.

The American public knows and America's enemies know that taking Americans hostage is now good business.

Now, for the other shoe to drop.  Obama has been caught in his deceit by saying the $400 million was absolutely not a ransom.  Next should be being caught lying about the $400 million had to be paid in cash.  That lie will come to light when we learn how the other $1.3 billion was paid to Iran.

The Obama administration and Iran agreed to a settlement of $1.7 billion for a weapons deal that dates back to the Shah of Iran.  (At least that is what Obama claims.)  That $1.7 billion has all been paid.  If the remaining $1.3 billion was paid in a wire transfer instead of cash, then Obama will have been caught again in a lie.  For the corn-pones, he will also have been caught laundering $400 million for Hezbollah and Hamas.

Will Obama care?  Probably not.  He's not running for a third term.  The "adolescent" rushed to and walked the Jersey shore carrying a balloon, or was that Chris Christie, after hurricane Sandy.  And that probably insured his victory.  Now, Louisiana is under water and he plays golf at Martha's Vineyard.

Life is good. For the oligarchs.

ANSWER: Drawn and Quartered

Question:  What is the first step in cutting political whore Hillary Clinton into equal-sized eighths?

My definition of a political whore is:  A female politician that sells her votes and influence for money.  By that definition, Hillary Clinton is the queen of Washington's "red light district".  Now, because the red light district might not be familiar to all foreign billionaires coming to Washington to buy favors, the top of the Washington Monument should be painted red and renamed the Clinton Monument to easily identify the epicenter of the district.  George wouldn't mind that since his America is dead, and Bill would gush over the honor.

What a Nightmare!

"Joe...Joe, listen to me."

"What?  I'm hearing voices now!"

"Joe, I'm Subliminal Joe.  Or, as I like to call myself, the smart Joe.  I'm part of your subconscious, and you have to listen to me if you want to live."

 "I'm listening."

"Joe, you're not awake.  You're asleep and you're having a nightmare.  And, if the nightmare continues on it's present course, you'll have a massive coronary."

"Well Mr. Smart Joe, even if I was asleep experiencing a nightmare - WHICH I'M NOT - it wouldn't cause me to have a heart attack.  If you are me, you know I've had nightmares where I've found myself back in school and completely naked.  And I've had nightmares where I'm being chased by a T. Rex and I'm running as if I'm waist-deep in molasses.  Those nightmares didn't harm me, and neither will this one.  If, as you say, I'm asleep having a nightmare.  I don't believe that."

"In the past when you had nightmares, you weren't 65 years old.  You weren't thirty pounds overweight and with sleep apnea.  And you didn't have a blood pressure exceeding 200 over 100, and currently climbing due to your stress.  I have to convince you that you are asleep.  And if I can't change the course of your nightmare, you'll have a heart attack on November 8th, which is only ten minutes from now in real time."

"Joe, using your logic, is it conceivable that the American electorate has become so debased in morals and values that Hillary Clinton would be winning handily in every swing state?"

"Using logic, that is exactly the conclusion I've reached.  Morality in America is in free-fall.  Just last week, it was on the internet that a woman was going to pay for an abortion by selling the baby's organs on Ebay."

"That's part of your nightmare.  It isn't real!"

"You're telling me that morality isn't in free-fall.  And babies's organs aren't being sold for profit?"

"No, I am saying that a woman selling her baby's organs on Ebay is not reality.  You've dreamt it.  OK, let me ask you this:  Is it logical that the Republican party nominated Donald Trump for president?"

"No, it wouldn't be, except for the Zika pandemic of the 1990s.  All of those poor babies with normal brains for empathy, compassion and IQs, but lacking the ability to discriminate between good and bad candidates, are now voting-age Republicans."

"No, no, no!  That's part of your nightmare.  There was no Zika outbreak in the 1990s."

"OK, Joe. let me try this tack.  In the past year, can you remember taking a bath, brushing your teeth, or shaving?"

"Hmmm...that's strange.  I don't remember doing any of those things for a long, long time."

"So, you must be one musky, bearded hobo."

"I must look and smell terrible!"

"Come look in this mirror."

"Where did that mirror come from?"

"Never mind, just come look in the mirror."

"My God.  My God!  I look like Cary Grant.  This is great.  This is fantastic."

"Now, do you really look like Cary Grant?"

"Well, maybe on my best days."

"OK, Cary.  Stop ogling your face and look at your arms."

"What the shi...!  I've shaved my arms.  And I've got tats!  I'm a damn metrosexual!"

"Now, would the real Joe do that?"

"Absolutely not!  Oh my God, I am dreaming.  And my subconscious is trying to save me.  What can I do?"

"Knowing that you're having a nightmare can give you the ability to control it.  You can turn the nightmare of a Hillary Clinton presidency into a pleasing dream and lower your blood pressure."

"You mean I can fly with Bill Clinton and his lecherous pals to Fantasy island?"

"No, you moron.  I mean instead of you suffering a massive coronary at the exact moment Hillary Clinton shatters the "glass ceiling" you can change the course of the nightmare such that, at the very moment Hillary Clinton is about to break the glass ceiling, she suffers a massive stroke.  And for the rest of her life, Bill never again refers to her as Hilla the Hun, but does like to call her Vegetable Lasagna."

Charge of the Light (In Head) Brigades



TRUMPETERS




NEVER-TRUMPS

 

 

 

In the end, even the Cossacks die.

Hillary's Short-Circuiting Brain

Obama Letting Un-vetted Muslims Into Country

Means Five-Year-Old Girls Are Sodomized

Muslim immigrant boys anally and orally sodomized a five-year-old girl in Twin Falls, Idaho.  Perhaps the boys refrained from penetrating her vagina because she hadn't been genitally mutilated, and thus, they thought she might have enjoyed it.

I can understand the fascination with Pokeman Go.  Sometimes, I'd like to stick my head up my ass, rather than face the real world.  Yes, there are those moments I'd like to be a Democrat.

A Democrat believes Barack Obama when he says there was no $400 million ransom paid to Iran for the release of American hostages.  The American hostage that said they were held at the airport for hours after their plane was ready for takeoff because another plane had to land first (with $400 million in cash) is just lying.

A Democrat believes Barack Obama when he says a wire transfer of the money couldn't be done.  That's true.  If a wire transfer of the money had been done, how could Iran subsequently have hidden the wire transfer of the funds to Hezbollah and Hamas?  The shipment of "cold, hard cash" to terrorists is far easier to hide.

A Democrat believes that Republicans in Congress are blocking Zika funding.  Harry Reid and Chuck Schumer never blocked passage of a bill because it didn't specify funds for Planned Parenthood.

A Democrat believes Hillary Clinton.

Those moments when I think I might like being a Democrat?  They pass.